I love my kids, I just hate parenting
I spend a lot of time railing against the idea of parenting “experts”. But everyone needs some advice once in a while.
Pretty soon, I’m going to have a new child upon whom all my hopes and dreams will rest. In order to ensure things go smoothly, I got some advice from fellow members of the dad blogger community.
Then I mocked it.
My son says plenty of ridiculous stuff, but none is more ridiculous than the stuff he says when he’s trying to get out of going to bed.
I know I’m not alone in being both amused and frustrated by the nonsense our kids come up with in attempts to delay their bedtime, especially since Netflix created images based on some of the goofy excuses actual real-life kids have deployed.
They even used one of mine!
Until you’re a parent (or a sports fan), it might be hard to understand how you can love something with all of your heart while, at the exact same time, it drives you so crazy you want to run away and live in a log cabin.
Kids have an infinite capacity for inspiring both your awe and your annoyance. Based on my son’s recent behavior and burgeoning intellectual development, five-year-olds are right smack in the sweet spot.
Last week, I was lucky enough to score passes to a sneak preview of a Star Wars event at the LEGOLAND Discovery Center in Westchester.
On Friday afternoon, we picked Detective Munch up from school, braved the rush hour traffic, and trekked up to Yonkers. For a few hours, he frolicked in the (atypically uncrowded) indoor playground thing, built and raced LEGO vehicles down ramps, watched a 3D LEGO movie, and generally had a great time, all while surrounded by a bunch of cool Star Wars stuff. There was even a guy walking around in a Chewbacca costume (Detective Munch was perfectly happy observing him from a safe distance).
Then, at the end of a fun night when we made extra effort to do something special we knew our son would love, something he did love, he threw a huge fit, collapsed on the floor, and screamed “I HATE YOU!” in my face.
So… You’re welcome?
When it comes to parenting, I don’t buy into gender stereotypes or biological imperatives or how they feel on “Mad Men”.
It’s 2015! Parenting tasks are no longer divided solely by gender, at least not in my house. It’s a team effort, a total 50/50 proposition, and moms and dads both have to go all-in to make it work.
That said, there are definitely some things my wife does better than me, and most of them aren’t gender-specific. (Unless you count being sick. Women totally dominate there.)
She had her birthday last week, so I thought I’d share a few of them. Better late than never!