28 Jun

Dad and Buried Posted in discipline 5 comments

Not My Kid, Not My Problem

Large groups of toddlers make me very uncomfortable. Simply surviving the tornado that is my own (almost) two-year-old is a daily workout. When there is a group of these creatures underfoot, my blood pressure goes through the roof.

I’ve written about the struggles of keeping my son in check when visiting a friend’s home, but today’s post is not about my kid; it’s about everyone else’s.

My kid gives me enough stress. If it’s not my kid? It’s not my problem.

15 Jun

Dad and Buried Posted in Fear 490 comments

“You’re a Great Dad. Who Knew?”

The title of this post is an exact quote from my wife. Thanks, honey?

It’s a borderline offensive thing to say, but she’s right. No one knew I’d be, let alone expected me to be, a great dad. Or even a good one. Not her. Not you. Least of all me.

Okay. Maybe least of all you.

20 Apr

Dad and Buried Posted in Fear 3 comments

Going Soft

Despite my best efforts, I think I’m going soft. My son is turning me into a wuss.

My wife likes to “joke” that I am a robot (I use quotes because she’s never laughing when she says it and I’m pretty sure it tears her up inside), or that I have no heart, because I never cry at commercials or movies or TV shows.

I like to think it’s because I’m not shallow and/or because my father raised me to believe that showing emotion was a sign of weakness (my father is John Wayne).

But having a child seems to be reducing my stoicism in uncomfortable ways. I’m beginning to care about people.

Homeless or Toddler?

My wife called me today to alert me to the latest adorable thing my son did. Are you ready for this?!

She was getting him ready for his bath, and he decided that the moment right AFTER his diaper came off was the perfect moment to urinate. So urinate he did, all over the floor. Then he slipped in his own urine. And fell. Into his own urine.

SUPER CUTE, right? The kind of thing you’d expect to see an adorable homeless man do while you’re waiting for the subway. I’m actually a little shocked I haven’t seen that happen. I live in New York!

But toddlers and the homeless have a lot of other behavior in common. So much so that it can be hard to tell them apart.

Let’s try.

Read more about Homeless or Toddler? …

29 Feb

Dad and Buried Posted in Babies One comment

Toddlers are Crazy

My son is an anarchist. It’s not really his fault, since all toddlers are anarchists. But it’s just a stage he’s going through. I hope.

Maybe they’re not anarchists in the true sense of the word, since they aren’t so much about politics or even abolishing or ignoring rules; they don’t exactly grasp the concept of rules, so it might be a little unfair to label them that way. But it’s clear that they hate rules or boundaries of any kind, even if they can’t articulate why.

Regardless, living with an anarchist is hard work. And whether my son is technically an anarchist or just behaves like one, the end result is essentially the same: CHAOS.

Dad and Buried

Tag: life

Not My Kid, Not My Problem

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“You’re a Great Dad. Who Knew?”

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Going Soft

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Homeless or Toddler?

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Toddlers are Crazy

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