Anger Management

Anger Management

There are certain environments in which it’s not healthy for children to grow up: brothels, crack houses, religious cults, tour buses, Staten Island, etc.But you don’t have to be a pimp or Tommy Lee to create a negative atmosphere for your kids. Sometimes you just have to be in a bad mood.

It’s impossible to be a human being in this day and age and not get pissed off once in a while. But unless you’re the unbalanced coach of a college basketball team or my old college roommate, you probably know how to handle your anger. At least, you think you do, until you have a toddler.

I don’t care how mild-mannered you are, occasionally you’re gonna get mad. Maybe not at your child, but probably in his vicinity, and often about stuff he does.

Then you’ll really find out how good your anger management really is. (Not Charlie Sheen’s “Anger Management,” or even Adam Sandler’s. They’re both terrible.)

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Zombie Post: Free My Valentine?

Zombie Post: Free My Valentine?

Mom and Buried and I aren’t all that big on Valentine’s Day.

I know what you’re thinking: you’re kidding yourself, pal. Which is a fair point; anyone who has ever met a woman knows she cares about Valentine’s Day on some level. But I know my wife. You don’t get through five years of marriage without being able to tell when your spouse is bluffing. Believe me, I’ve gotten it wrong enough times to get it right at least one out of every ten chances. And she’s not bluffing about Valentine’s Day.

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Six Ways Kids Ruin Your Life

Six Ways Kids Ruin Your Life

Having kids changes your life in many ways, and not always good ones.

One of the reasons I started this blog was to vent about the irritating ways my son’s existence has forced me to alter my own and to show the world that having kids doesn’t need to change everything. Yes, becoming a parent definitely changes capital-E Everything, but it doesn’t have to change little-e everything.

So far, Mom and Buried and I have done a pretty good job of maintaining some semblance of our old lives even as the constant, daily, inescapable presence of a (now) toddler has forced us to make certain adjustments. Certain inconvenient and annoying adjustments.

We’ve been doing okay. But we haven’t been able to avoid every headache. Because kids ruin your life.

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The Parent Voice

The Parent Voice

I’ve seen my wife get angry before, believe me.

I’m a guy, she’s a girl, we’ve had our share of disagreements. I’ve heard her yell, seen her scowl, watched her throw stuff. Guys do guy things, women are insane; it is what it is. Every single guy on earth knows what I’m talking about. Right, John Wayne Bobbitt? Andre Rison? Chaz Bono?

But Mom Rage is different than Wife or Girlfriend Rage. And the first time you see the mother of your children get angry at your kids? Yikes.

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How to Use Your Kids to Win at Marriage

How to Use Your Kids to Win at Marriage

Marriage is tough. When you have kids, it gets even tougher. You think you know your spouse inside and out, and then out of nowhere she tells you she is anti-spanking. Even after reading “Fifty Shades of Grey”!* 

Dr. Phil would (probably) tell you that communication is the cornerstone of any successful marriage. With children around, communication becomes even more important, because parenting is not only the most significant duty you’ll ever (mostly hate) performing, it is also a team sport. If you’re not on the same page with your spouse it can lead to disaster, both for your kids and for your marriage.

Fortunately, while having kids makes communication more important, it also makes communication a lot easier. Just as long as you don’t mind being a passive-aggressive dick.

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