I love my kids, I just hate parenting
![[E-card] The Perfect Baby Name](https://i0.wp.com/dadandburied.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/baby-names.jpg?resize=231%2C218&ssl=1)
Last time we had to name a baby, it was a struggle. There are a ton of terrible names out there, and the list grows with every new series of young adult science-fiction books.
We lucked out and the name we chose ended up perfectly suiting Detective Munch.
But we left one name in the holster that might have made even more sense. Maybe it will work this time around.
You may have heard that I’m having another kid.
I have no idea what this child will be like, but if it’s a boy, I’m pretty sure there are two things I can bank on:
1) He’ll like trucks.
2) He’ll like dinosaurs.
Last week, after I laid out why I agree with Target’s new non-gender assignation policy, a handful of people on social media praised me, called me a great dad, and said they wished more people would raise their kids like I’m raising mine.
AWKWARD. I’ve never committed credit fraud, but when I get praise for being a good parent, that’s what it feels like.
I prefer when people call me an asshole and a terrible father. Because, as my regular readers know (thanks, regular readers!), that’s a lot closer to the truth.
There are a million titles I could have used for this post:
Practice makes perfect.
Glutton for punishment.
Stupid is as stupid does.
Misery loves company.
Once more unto the breach, dear friends.
But for whatever reason, referencing Albert Einstein’s (but maybe not?) famous quote seemed to make the most sense.
When it comes to getting your kids to do something they don’t want to do, there are basically three tactics you can employ: bribery, threats, and just giving up and doing it for them.
Doing it for them is obviously not the way to go. Detective Munch is lazy enough as it is; if I were to start waiting on him hand and foot (or waiting on him even more, which I guess would make it waiting on him hands and feet? COMEDY GOLD!), he’d probably end up with bed sores.
As most parents already know, bribery is a double-edged sword. It works, but you’re gonna pay for it down the line when the kid refuses to get out of bed without the promise of a new toy or some TV time, and eventually you’re buying him a new car just to get him to go to college.
Which leaves us with threats.