My toddler doesn’t exactly lie yet.

He does, but it’s so innocent – and about such childish things – that I hesitate to call it lying. It’s more like acting. Since the Oscars are tonight, I thought I’d give my kid a few meaningless trophies that probably should have gone to someone else.

In honor of the female Super Bowl (with apologies to the opening weekend of the Sex and the City movie), I give you a list of my kid’s best performances.

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