I love my kids, I just hate parenting
Forgive me for not having the energy to come up with an original post today. The Super Bowl took it out of me. Which is weird, since I was practically napping throughout the entire first half. Then Beyoncé showed up to get extravagantly praised (really? her enthusiasm is insane but the halftime show seemed likeRead more about Zombie Post: A Commercial Disappointment[…]
This will be the first Super Bowl Sunday my son might actually sit still and watch the game for a few minutes. (Probably while getting really angry about Beyonce’s lip-syncing LIKE THE REST OF US.) It will be the 28th Super Bowl I can remember watching that doesn’t include my Dolphins. Ugh.
On the other hand, my wife is a 49ers fan – something about a childhood crush on Steve Young – and since I have nothing against this young San Francisco team (and I hate the Ravens), our house is all-in for the red and gold today.
But there’s no arguing that the big game’s biggest personality – aside from the Harbaugh brothers’ HILARIOUS parents and Colin Kaepernick’s HILARIOUS fashion sense – is former murder suspect and possible deer-killer or deer-lover or deer-eater or deer-sniffer (who understands these PEDs?), Ray Lewis.
I’m not a big fan of the guy, but he’s definitely larger-than-life. And sometimes he reminds me of my son.
Kids are stress-inducing.
Unfortunately, they’re also time-consuming, which makes it difficult to alleviate your stress, and stay healthy, via the time-tested method of exercise. If you don’t have time, you probably aren’t going to bother shelling out for a gym membership you’ll rarely use. And good luck with trying to use that treadmill you bought during his nap; if there’s a louder piece of equipment this side of the drum-kit my in-laws bought my son, I haven’t come across it.
What’s a parent to do?!
Don’t fret; I have a solution! Like Rocky in Siberia (actually, it was filmed in Krasnogourbinsk, but come on), you have to work with what you’ve got. In this case, what you’ve got are kids.
Luckily, they’re even better than a Bowflex!
Read more about Eye of the Toddler: Using Your Kids to Stay in Shape …
I may be a lot of things. I may be 34. I may be a Dolphins fan. I may be the funniest person my wife has ever met.
But I am not a pretender.
So I’m not gonna sit here and pretend the Fins will make the playoffs. I’m not gonna try to convince you I’m hilarious. I’m not gonna deny (anymore) that I’m actually 36. And I’m not gonna pretend I’ve accomplished all the goals I set out for myself.
And I’m not gonna pretend that matters much to me these days either.
Tomorrow night I’ll be attending my fantasy football draft. That is, if the birth of a child doesn’t get in the way. Not my child, though. Not this time. Two years ago, about a month before my son was born, I wrote a post comparing my fantasy football draft – the best day of theRead more about Zombie Post: Fantasy Football and Babies[…]