I love my kids, I just hate parenting
A few years ago, I created a few memes based around the way my toddler had commandeered different aspects of my life. Little did I know, I had barely seen the tip of the iceberg. But you all knew!
I recently asked for some submissions from my readers of photos that might make good “got toddlered” material. And I got some doozies.
Being as the holiday is only two days away, today’s new “Got Toddlered” is a Christmas edition!
Detective Munch has been the VIP of my family for the last five years.
He’s the only grandchild my parents have, the only nephew my brothers have, and the only kid Mom and Buried and I have. As such, he’s been living the high life, as the center of attention, the sole attraction, the primary beneficiary. And, mostly, as the getter of the leeway.
But his gravy train is about to crash.
Teaching your kids to be kind is a big deal. I don’t much care what my son becomes, whether he’s rich or poor, athletic or musical or bookish, a ladies man or a guy’s guy, so long as he ends up being a good person. Being kind to other people is a large part of that.
I was hopeful that the new KIND Snacks #kindawesome campaign – which asks people to spread kindness by handing out actual physical (or digital) cards that contain a code for redeeming free KIND bars – would be a fun way to teach my son this major life lesson. So I decided to use the cards they sent me to reward him every time I saw him do something nice.
More than a week later, I still have all my cards. Because five-year-old.
My wife loves when our son sleeps in our bed.
It’s tight, he inevitably chooses some weird, awkward position that usually involves one of his feet in her face or my crotch, but she loves it. Even when his presence makes any actual sleep totally impossible and leaves her completely exhausted the next day.
If I’m being honest, I love it too. Because I know it’s not going to last.
I can’t pretend (despite the fact that I sometimes do pretend) to know the first thing about how to properly raise your kids. But there are a few obvious dos and don’ts:
There’s one thing that should have its own category, though.
Ignoring your kids is not advisable. Except when it is. And then it’s glorious. Because ignoring is bliss.