Tag: toddlers

Hard Days’ Nights
09 Sep
Posted in Drinking No comments

Hard Days’ Nights

Today is my birthday. I know; I don’t care either.

I’m not going to whine about how old I am or anything. Age ain’t nothing but a mile marker on the highway to eternal nothingness, am I right? And truth be told, I don’t feel that different than I did at 27. Except for this three-foot-tall growth that’s attached to my leg, sucking all the energy out of me.

That energy would’ve come in handy over the weekend, when I tried to live like I still was 27 by attending a three-day music fest.

Read more about Hard Days’ Nights …

Advisory Scoundrel
06 Sep
Posted in Advice No comments

Advisory Scoundrel

I have my bona fides.

You’ve seen me on Huffington Post, inciting the rabble to abuse me with their humorless comments. You’ve seen me on Huffington Post saying serious things, providing insight. And you’ve seen me here, bitching about my son. Constantly.

Obviously, I’m a parenting EXPERT. Don’t believe me? ASK ME FOR SOME PARENTING ADVICE. I dare you.

My answers will blow your mind. And potentially lose you custody of your children.

WIN-WIN.

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Fantasy Parenting Draft
04 Sep
Posted in Lists 2 comments

Fantasy Parenting Draft

It’s football season! And you know what that means: it’s fantasy football season!

Bore everyone to tears with game recaps! Anger wives and girlfriends by spending too much time doing research! Turn leisurely Sundays into stress-filled angerscapes of regret and frustration. I can’t wait!

I’ve written about my relationship with fantasy football before, even going so far as to consider skipping the birth of my child to attend my draft. That was a choice I didn’t end up having to make, thankfully, and it resulted in one of the best day’s of my life: the day I won it all.

These days, almost everyone in the league has kids, and since everyone with kids wishes they had better kids, I thought I’d imagine what the top picks in a Fantasy Parenting draft would look like. Read more about Fantasy Parenting Draft …

Touch Me, I’m Slick
02 Sep
Posted in Fear 3 comments

Touch Me, I’m Slick

Here’s the problem with smart phones and tablets and all the other fun, exciting new technology that is taking over our lives. Well, the problem besides the fact that they are taking over our lives.

The very technology that makes them fun, exciting and cool to us also makes them fun and exciting and cool to our children.

Next thing you know, your kids are pawing at your most expensive possessions. And it’s giving you an ulcer.

Read more about Touch Me, I’m Slick …

[E-card] Never Forget
01 Sep
Posted in discipline No comments

[E-card] Never Forget

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