08 Jan

Dad and Buried Posted in Digression 13 comments

CES-capades: Part 1

Losing my Vegas virginity and my CES virginity on the same trip may not have been the best idea. There is a lot to take in.

Everything is just…big. Any by “everything” I mean the Strip, the conference itself, the casinos, the hotels, the crowds…the only thing that’s not big is the dividing line between the glamour of this town, artificial as it is, and the grunge that lies beneath, between and behind it. That line is razor-thin, as the walk from my hotel to the convention center made abundantly clear: from high-priced strip clubs to low-rent strip malls. But everything else? Big.

Of course, thanks to CES, that “everything” also includes the latest and greatest in technology, and I’ve seen a bunch of it.

Christmas Heave

My wife worships Christmas.

Once the Thanksgiving dishes are done, it’s all Yule all the time. Nothing but Christmas music in the car, nothing but Christmas movies on the television, nothing but Christmas shopping on the weekends.

And she was like this BEFORE we had the kid. Now that he’s here, and he’s alive enough to begin to understand Santa and presents and cookies and the tree and all that, not only has Mom and Buried’s Christmas-loving resolve strengthened, but I no longer have a Scroogey cane to stand on.

Especially on Christmas Eve, when there’s work to do!

The Boy Who Cried Gibberish

A few people have mentioned to Mom and Buried and me that Detective Munch has a good vocabulary for a kid his age. I don’t disagree, I mean, I’ve got him speaking jive, singing Christmas (and Beastie Boys) songs, and telling people “See ya later, alligator!” He can say some solid stuff.

Of course, he’s only two, so his vocabulary isn’t that good. Plus, a lot of the things he says are barely recognizable as English, and are probably only decipherable by me and Mom and Buried, if at all. And that so-called good vocabulary gets a lot worse when he’s distraught.

When he’s upset, whether it’s because he’s being a brat or because he got a boo-boo, words go out the window. Which can make solving – or even identifying – the problem quite tricky.

14 Dec

Dad and Buried Posted in discipline 3 comments

How To Control Your Children

Earlier this week I wrote about the ways my son is my puppet master. He often literally controls my body, forcing me to watch what he wants to watch, go where he wants to go, dance when he wants to dance, etc. It can be frustrating.

But I’m an adult and he’s a toddler. So while he gets a fair amount of leeway, since he’s both the cutest child of all time and the likely future of humanity (or its ruin, as indicated by the shadow he’s casting in this photo), he is really only able to control me when I let him control me.

Otherwise, I control him.

12 Dec

Dad and Buried Posted in Gender 128 comments

Gender Neutral

My son is over two years old now, and aside from a very minor trim session (not a double-entendre), he’s never had his hair cut. His hair is quite long and very curly, and as a result, strangers occasionally mistake him for a girl.

The first ten times it happened, I was annoyed. But eventually it got me thinking:

Would my son make a good-looking girl? Would my life be different if I had a daughter instead of a son?

Dad and Buried

Tag: toddlers

CES-capades: Part 1

Like this:

Christmas Heave

Like this:

The Boy Who Cried Gibberish

Like this:

How To Control Your Children

Like this:

Gender Neutral

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this: