Sweeney Toddler

My son is not going to prom anytime soon. He’s not applying for any jobs, he’s not running for office, he’s not playing for the Yankees.

There is simply no reason for him to get a haircut right now.

So why does everyone want him to?

I’ve never had long hair. The few attempts I’ve made to try and pull it off have resulted in something more like Leapin’ Lanny Poffo than Diamond Dave, more Screech than Spicoli. It was not a good look for me.

I can see the same tendencies in my son’s mop of hair. As it gets longer, it curls up and blooms out. It doesn’t fall straight down his back the way long hair should. Maybe it doesn’t look great, but it looks ADORABLE. And I see no reason to cut it, not yet.

My dad thinks it’s an issue that people occasionally mistake my little boy for a little girl. But that’s more likely a result of his long eyelashes and constant whining than his long ‘do. But either way, who cares? I’m pretty sure he’s not a girl, so I’m not really concerned with strangers guessing wrong. And I don’t think my son takes it personally. It’s not like he’s spending time and money to change his appearance to better fit how he feels inside; he’s not Chaz Bono. He’s not even TWO.

Besides, when you see my son’s hair, curling out behind and above him to form unruly cloud around his head, you don’t think “girl,” you think “Phil Spector.” So long as he doesn’t murder anyone, that’s fine with me. Dude made some good music.

To be clear, I have no real attachment to his hair because it’s the hair he was born with (his “original” hair), nor do I think a haircut will render him powerless, like Samson. I’m not crazy. I just don’t see any reason to tame his locks at this age. Let them grow and flow; he has his whole life to worry about cleaning up his act. hot parenting trends, humiliate your children, huffington post, parenting, parenthood, satire, funny, humor, dad blogger, dads, moms, toddlers, children, placenta, movies, baby names, first haircut, umbilical cord

We might as well give him some freedom now, before he’s a teenager and the way his hair falls is a source of anxiety; before he eats the forbidden fruit and starts to worry about what other people think of him.

And we all know how traumatic those first few visits to the barber can be. Every doctor visit for the past year has included vaccinations and shots, I think we can spare him the new nightmare of being strapped into a chair and watching as someone cuts off pieces of his body. For a little while longer.

It’s the least we can do, after we forcefully trimmed his genitals.

Print page

2 thoughts on “Sweeney Toddler

  1. “Maybe it doesnโ€™t look great, but it looks ADORABLE. And I see no reason to cut it, not yet.” – I couldn’t agree more! hes just too cute!! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Great title as well.

  2. I was just thinking to myself, ‘I’ve got to ask him for a picture of his son’ and then I scrolled down to read the rest. ๐Ÿ™‚ I completely agree with you. He looks perfect, and visits to the barber when you’re below three are traumatic. Wow, do kids scream.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.