Parental Guidance is Annoying

Parental Guidance is Annoying

Parents and children have different perspectives.

This is obvious when you’re a kid, particularly a teenager, because parents just don’t understand. But it becomes even more obvious, blindingly obvious, when you become a parent. Suddenly, parental guidance isn’t just a hassle, it’s your daily responsibility!

We usually don’t want the same things that our kids do. There is some overlap: we want them to be happy, to have fun, to be healthy, and they, presumably, want those things too. But we have different definitions of those things, and different methods for achieving them.

Which means that some of the things that make us good parents also make us bad ones, in our kids’ eyes.

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Kids Will Surprise You

Kids Will Surprise You

Kids will surprise you.

About two years ago, a casting director from David “The Wire” Simon’s new show accosted me and Detective Munch (as we were walking down our street) and asked if he would be willing to appear in a scene. One of their actors had gotten sick and they wanted to film my son as he pretended to sleep. Easy-peasy!

I was ecstatic. Finally, my kid was gonna be a star, and my golden ticket, and it was all going to start with an appearance in the next project by the creator of my favorite TV show of all time! And then my then four-year-old started screaming. And screaming. And screaming. And the casting directed started backing away, and away, and away. Just like that, my hopes were dashed.

Along with any potential college fund for my selfish little dream killer.

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Control Freak-Out

Control Freak-Out

There are a lot of things I don’t want my kids to become. Bullies, jerks, people who say “All Lives Matter”, Republicans, Jets fans… a lot of things.

Not all of them are within our control, but a few might be. Preventing him from being spoiled, teaching him to be kind and grateful are others. Those are things parents can influence. Right? Maybe? Please?

Help. I think I’m having a control freak-out.

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Discipline is a Double-Edged Sword

Discipline is a Double-Edged Sword

Recently, Detective Munch got in trouble at school.

He gets in trouble at school every once in a while, but it’s mostly with both the same frequency of trouble and of the same variety of “trouble” that most five-year-olds get into. He doesn’t pay attention to the teachers, he goofs around with his friends and acts silly, he put his fingers in someone else’s mouth. You know, typical behavior.

But last week he did something a little bit more serious, and in an attempt to let him know that such behavior is unacceptable, Mom and Buried and I were forced to lay down the law. Of course, there are only so many ways to discipline a five-year-old, and a lot of the time you end up wondering who’s being punished.

Discipline is a double-edged sword.

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