Back To School Concerns

Back To School Concerns

This weekend marks the unofficial end of summer, and, the return of back to school season. You’re probably knee-deep in it already, as New York is kind of late. Detective Munch doesn’t start until next week.

It’s finally time to say goodbye to leisurely mornings in which I don’t have to scream at my son to put his shoes on and then sprint to the bus stop. Of course, as my son enters the second (!!) grade, I have much bigger concerns than getting out of the house on time.

What are they? I’m glad you asked!

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The Bully Problem

The Bully Problem

Last year, my six-year-old had some trouble with bullies on his school bus.

It’s almost insane to say, “bullies” and “six-year-old,” especially in an era when more attention is on the dangers of bullying than ever before, but here we are. And he’ll be taking the same bus in September.

My wife and I doing our best to squash it, which isn’t easy when your kid is too young to emotionally protect himself, too young to understand how to defend himself, too young to understand why it’s even happening. Hell, I’m 40 and I don’t understand why it’s happening!

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The Chore of Common Core

The Chore of Common Core

When I get home from work, I’m pretty spent.

My days are usually filled with meetings and deadlines and fire drills and brainstorming and phone calls — capped off by a long commute on a crowded subway. So, by the time I get home, the last thing I want to do is something mentally taxing. I want a drink, a seat and some television.

But, alas, I have kids, so before I get to do those things, I have to deal with the fruit of my loins first. And that means common core.

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Thank God For Teachers

Thank God For Teachers

Winter break has arrived. Godspeed, fellow parents!

I don’t know about you, but I’ve come to dread these weeks my kids have off from school. Summer, obviously, is the worst, mostly because it’s the longest. But none of them are particularly fun, as we’re all about to spend the next few weeks finding out!

Why isn’t school year-round again? Thank God for teachers.

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Take This Under Advisement, Jerkweed! – Volume 13

Take This Under Advisement, Jerkweed! – Volume 13

I have two kids now. I’ve never been more of an expert on what it takes to be exhausted and annoyed 24/7.

Which makes today the perfect time for another round of my unprofessional, ill-considered, potentially criminal parenting advice! (Check out all of the previous installments.)

And I actually got a handful of solid questions! Too solid, really. It was a struggle to make fun of them! It’s almost like you people are starting to take me seriously. STOP IT.

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