Thank God For Teachers

Thank God For Teachers

Winter break has arrived. Godspeed, fellow parents!

I don’t know about you, but I’ve come to dread these weeks my kids have off from school. Summer, obviously, is the worst, mostly because it’s the longest. But none of them are particularly fun, as we’re all about to spend the next few weeks finding out!

Why isn’t school year-round again? Thank God for teachers.

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Take This Under Advisement, Jerkweed! – Volume 13

Take This Under Advisement, Jerkweed! – Volume 13

I have two kids now. I’ve never been more of an expert on what it takes to be exhausted and annoyed 24/7.

Which makes today the perfect time for another round of my unprofessional, ill-considered, potentially criminal parenting advice! (Check out all of the previous installments.)

And I actually got a handful of solid questions! Too solid, really. It was a struggle to make fun of them! It’s almost like you people are starting to take me seriously. STOP IT.

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Stuck Inside with Kids

Stuck Inside with Kids

More power to our kids, but nothing makes a person hate snow more than being an adult. There are only so many times you can take your kids sledding and ice skating and snowman-building, especially when you have things to do!

No matter how outdoorsy you are, in the winter you’re sure to be spending more and more time indoors with a collection of five-hour-energy side-effects in tiny human form, slowly but surely exhausting every single entertainment option available in an effort to keep the kids occupied. And keep yourself from turning into Jack Nicholson in The Shining. It’s not easy.

And it’s only going to get worse for me, now that I have a newborn too.

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Is Your Child Gifted?

Is Your Child Gifted?

When my son was in preschool, we received an informational packet about how we could get him tested for NYC’s “gifted” programs. We decided not to bother.

Not because we don’t think he’s got potential, but because it just seemed like unnecessary stress for a four-year-old. Besides, if Detective Munch is some kind of supergenius, we’ll find out eventually (and laugh all the way to the bank!)

I’m glad we passed on the testing, because last week I saw an article on PopSugar called “Signs Your Child May Be Gifted” that takes all the guesswork out of determining whether your kid might one day be able to buy you an island*.

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