Guy Anxiety 2: Electric Boogaloo

Guy Anxiety 2: Electric Boogaloo

I have a lot of stuff on my mind, lately, most of which revolves around the forthcoming arrival of my second child.

We are about the enter the final trimester, and as we cross that checkpoint, shit is getting real. We just moved to a bigger place in order to make room for both the baby and for all the attendant baby gear we’re going to need. In fact, we’ve already started accumulating some of it.

And yet all the baby stuff that has begun filling up our physical space is nothing compared to the baby stuff that’s been filling up my head space.

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Empty Parenting Threats

Empty Parenting Threats

When it comes to getting your kids to do something they don’t want to do, there are basically three tactics you can employ: bribery, threats, and just giving up and doing it for them.

Doing it for them is obviously not the way to go. Detective Munch is lazy enough as it is; if I were to start waiting on him hand and foot (or waiting on him even more, which I guess would make it waiting on him hands and feet? COMEDY GOLD!), he’d probably end up with bed sores.

As most parents already know, bribery is a double-edged sword. It works, but you’re gonna pay for it down the line when the kid refuses to get out of bed without the promise of a new toy or some TV time, and eventually you’re buying him a new car just to get him to go to college.

Which leaves us with threats.

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Categorically Opposed

Categorically Opposed

Recently, Target announced that they’d be doing away with gender-categorizations in their children’s sections. This made a lot of people happy and a lot of people angry.

I am torn between being baffled by the anger and totally understanding it. Not because I agree with it (most of the angry people seem to think Target has a nefarious agenda, which: CUCKOO!) but because I get where those people are coming from, at least on one level: human beings love labels.

Labels are comforting. Nothing scares us like stuff we don’t understand, and labels help us understand things.

My son is white. He is male. He is an American. He may be straight or gay, he may be religious or not, he may be liberal or conservative. But if I have my way, he’ll be none of those things.

He’ll just be a human being, like everyone else.

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Touch and No

Touch and No

I’m not a gamer. I never have gamed. And neither has my son.

There’s no Playstation in my house, no Xbox, no Wii. My son’s exposure to video games has been limited to the handful of times we’ve stumbled across an old arcade machine and I’ve tried to teach him how to play Pac-Man. He hasn’t been all that into it. (Probably because he’s TERRIBLE. You have to AVOID the ghosts, genius!)

But if his interest in the gaming devices his cousins were playing over the holidays was any indication, that’s about to change. Which means I’m going to have to shell out for a system.

Or am I? I recently got a new piece of hardware that is saving my ass. And my wallet. For now.

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