[Video] Room Trailer

[Video] Room Trailer

Newsflash: I’m not a particularly emotional guy. And I pretty much never get emotional about fiction.

I don’t cry at movies, or TV shows, or books. Sure, some stuff tugs at my heartstrings and I’ll occasionally well up a bit, and I love a good heartwarming moment as much as the next person (like the end of Without a Trace), but tears? No.

Truth be told, I didn’t cry reading Room either. For the entire first half of the book I was crawling out of my skin and almost had a heart attack, but I didn’t cry.

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“The (Baby) Weight”

“The (Baby) Weight”

As a youngster, I used to enjoy writing “Weird Al”-style song parodies. I wrote one that changed the title of one of my favorite Saturday morning cartoons to “Muppet Rabies”. I told a story about a classmate who appeared on “Teen Jeopardy” by re-purposing the tune of Rush’s “Tom Sawyer”. At a friend’s request, I once wrote something bashing Derek Jeter and jammed it inside an Eminem song.

As I grew older, I occasionally found a new outlet for this supreme waste of time.

A few years ago, I helped my wife alter some lyrics to the song “Razzle Dazzle” so she could perform it at her company’s talent show (don’t ask). And just last year I whipped up a “Paradise City” parody that referenced Pope Benedict’s abrupt retirement and posted it on Twitter. It’s been retweeted 1,314 times and is easily my most popular tweet, even though I’ve written several about potty training.

I just can’t seem to stop writing the stupid parodies, and yet I’ve never written one about my son (unless you include the one where I sing his name to the tune of the “CHiPs” theme song). Until now. I apologize in advance for wasting your time.

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[VIDEO] “Try Not Having Kids”

[VIDEO] “Try Not Having Kids”

What I like about the “Try Not Having Kids” video I’ve posted below is that while it’s aggressive in its promotion of the child-free lifestyle, it’s not afraid to make some snarky comments towards the child-free contingent.

I am a strong supporter of people not having kids, and not only in a “you’d make terrible parents” way. I like having friends who don’t have kids. It’s good for parents and non-parents to have exposure to what they’re missing, and there’s no need to pretend both lifestyles don’t have their perks.

But most importantly, the video is pretty funny. And true. Having kids ruins your (old) life.

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