What Your Kids Don’t Know May Kill You

What Your Kids Don’t Know May Kill You

Kids are dumb. Everyone knows that!

It’s not their fault, at least not at first. Everyone is born a blank slate. Kids don’t know anything. It’s our job as parents to clue them in to all of it. Even the obvious stuff.

This isn’t news. Not a single one of us has ever met a baby who could hold a conversation worth a damn.

Read more about What Your Kids Don’t Know May Kill You

Bored Kids Are Not My Problem

Bored Kids Are Not My Problem

Bored kids are the worst.

Kids hate being bored so much it makes them blind. Blind to the hundreds of toys staring them in the face, blind to the dozens of books within arms reach, blind to the open space and fresh air in the backyard.

They hate it so much it makes them deaf, too. Deaf to their parents reminders of all those toys and books. Deaf to their parents’ threats that if they don’t stop complaining about being bored, all those toys and books will be given to someone who will actually use them!

About the only thing it doesn’t make them is mute, because bored kids literally never stop telling you about it.

Read more about Bored Kids Are Not My Problem

The Parenting Perks of New York City

The Parenting Perks of New York City

This morning, my wife texted me in a panic because she couldn’t find her membership card to the Staten Island Children’s Museum she wanted to visit with our kids.

Later, she texted me a photo of my 7-month-old at a museum, putting some filth-ridden toy in his mouth, the goofy idiot. I texted back, both to insult my son for being a goofy idiot and to ask at which museum she’d ended up, because I knew she’d never found her membership card.

I also knew that didn’t matter. Because we live in New York City.

Read more about The Parenting Perks of New York City

I Want To Lose My Temper

I Want To Lose My Temper

My wife and I have an ongoing disagreement. (Well, we have several, one of which is about whether Moulin Rouge is a good movie (it is not), but this one is about parenting.)

She thinks I yell too much. And I know I said this was a disagreement, but I don’t deny that she’s right. I do yell too much, especially lately.

Instead of losing my temper, I need to actually lose my temper.

Read more about I Want To Lose My Temper

%d bloggers like this:
e9afe31c5a7577fdf2fc8f15bd5008856c363ba4adcd73a03f