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Tag Archives: football

Super Bowl Sunday: 5 Ways My Toddler is Like Ray Lewis

3 Feb NFL, Super Bowl, drinking, health, someecards, funny

This will be the first Super Bowl my son might actually sit still and watch for a few minutes. (Probably while getting really angry about Beyonce’s lip-synching LIKE THE REST OF US.) It will be the 28th Super Bowl I can remember watching that doesn’t include my Dolphins. Ugh.

On the other hand, my wife is a 49ers fan – something about a childhood crush on Steve Young – and since I have nothing against this young San Francisco team (and I hate the Ravens), our house is all-in for the red and gold today.

But there’s no arguing that the big game’s biggest personality – aside from the Harbaugh brothers’ HILARIOUS parents and Colin Kaepernick’s HILARIOUS fashion sense – is former murder suspect and possible deer-killer or deer-lover or deer-eater or deer-sniffer (who understands these PEDs?), Ray Lewis.

I’m not a big fan of the guy but he’s definitely larger-than-life. And sometimes he reminds me of my son.

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Birthday Parlay

9 Sep kids, parenting, parents, NFL, football, weekend, party, drinking

I may be a lot of things. I may be 34. I may be a Dolphins fan. I may be the funniest person my wife has ever met.

But I am not a pretender.

So I’m not gonna sit here and pretend the Fins will make the playoffs. I’m not gonna try to convince you I’m hilarious. I’m not gonna deny (anymore) that I’m actually 36. And I’m not gonna pretend I’ve accomplished all the goals I set out for myself.

And I’m not gonna pretend that matters much to me these days either.

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Zombie Post: Fantasy Football and Babies

23 Aug zombie, walking dead, resurrection, monsters, horror, kids, parenting, funny, dads

Tomorrow night I’ll be attending my fantasy football draft. That is, if the birth of a child doesn’t get in the way. Not my child, though. Not this time.

Two years ago, about a month before my son was born, I wrote a post comparing my fantasy football draft – the best day of the FF season, by far – and the impending birth of my son. At the time it seemed possible the two dates could conflict, so the post was a (tongue-in-cheek, honey, I swear!) look at which was more important.

Now, two years later, there is no way in hell I’m missing the draft. My first child’s birth was a once in a lifetime thing; his 102nd Friday night is not that big a deal. And I’ve been dealing with his toddler ass for quite a while now; I could use a break.

Of course, this time someone else’s child might be the monkey in the wrench that spoils the party. Children. What a hassle!

Here’s the original post, in which the birth of my son barely edged out my fantasy draft in a battle for the ages:

The Tale of the Tape: Fantasy Draft vs. Birth of Son

Stick to Fantasy, Kid

4 May say-no-to-football_original_display_image

Junior Seau died Wednesday in an apparent suicide. A legendary member of the San Diego Chargers (along with less legendary stints with the Miami Dolphins and New England Patriots) and surefire Hall-of-Famer, Seau joins a growing list of NFL players who’ve died too young.

As someone who follows the NFL pretty devotedly, in matters both on the field and off, I’m guessing it won’t be long before someone links Seau’s suicide to the concussions and head trauma he suffered throughout his hall of fame career (in fact, it’s already happened).

Is there any parent left that is going to let their kid play football? Outside of Texas, I mean.

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