You Threatenin’ Me?

You Threatenin’ Me?

Despite the fact that I could quote Cape Fear ALL DAY LONG and just pretend I’m having a conversation with my toddler —

“I can out-learn you. I can out-read you. I can out-think you. I can out-philosophize you. And I’m gonna outlast you! ”

— that’s not what the title of this post refers to.

This post is about Other Parents and the way they use their experiences to scare you.

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The Dishonest Toddler

The Dishonest Toddler

The other day, I was awakened by my son yelling from his crib. This is not unusual. I would say this happens every day. Every. Single. Day. But this day was a little bit different. Because instead of merely calling for mommy or daddy, he was screaming, “I got poop in my butt!”

That doesn’t happen every day, neither the yelling of it nor the reality of it. People don’t normally shit in their sleep, not even little kids. So it was a bit strange that he had.

Except he hadn’t: he was lying.

And so it begins…

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I Love Lying to My Kid

I Love Lying to My Kid

Kids lie. No matter how hard you stress the importance of honesty, they will still lie. It’s human nature.

My kid isn’t even three years old and I’ve already seen inklings. I’m not always sure that’s he truly lying about not having pooped or if he’s just so used to having poop in his pants that he can’t tell the difference, but sometimes he’s lying about it. Because he doesn’t want his diaper changed. Because he’s gross. But I digress.

Dealing with lying children is a natural part of being a parent. I knew that going in, and I’m ready for it.

But I didn’t know how much lying I’d be doing.

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