Contest: Dad Jokes with Laffy Taffy!

Contest: Dad Jokes with Laffy Taffy!

Disclaimer: I’ve partnered with Laffy Taffy known for its deliciously stretchy, fruity flavored taffy with whimsical jokes on every wrapper to promote the Dad Joke program but all terrible jokes are my own.

There are a lot of things I want to pass down to my kids. Nothing practical, of course (we don’t do that here) but the kind of stuff that makes day to day life a little more enjoyable.

An appreciation for music, a love of reading, pop culture trivia, general laziness; the real stuff! The important things. But there’s probably nothing I could pass down that’s as essential to enjoying and surviving life as a sense of humor.

Unfortunately I may have done too good of a job.

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Kids Are Expensive AF!

Kids Are Expensive AF!

One of the worst aspects of having kids is, well, just take a spin around my blog. I’m pretty sure I’ve covered them all at some point. Including this week’s podcast topic: how expensive they are!

It starts with diapers and clothes and formula, then it progresses to daycare and sports and food, and eventually you’re buying them cars and college tuition. It never ends.

But it’s not just money they cost you, they also steal your sanity, your time, your sense of self. We get into all the ways kids bleed your wallet, and I do an impression of Louis Gossett Jr. in everyone’s favorite 80s alien movie that almost no one has ever heard of!

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Mr. Invincible

Mr. Invincible

I’m not saying I’m a hero (I do replace the toilet paper a fair amount), but I do have some heroic qualities. All parents do.

Parenting requires superpowers. The same way emergencies case adrenaline to kick in and unlock heretofore unknown abilities when one is in danger, parenting reveals unknown reserves of strength, stamina, and, as my 7-year-old points out, invincibility.

He didn’t actually say that – he didn’t say anything, really, he just yelled “You’re the worst, I wish you weren’t my father!” but I survived that, and just a few minutes later, we were snuggling on the couch, watching a movie together.

So yeah, I’m pretty sure I’m invincible.

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Boneheaded Parenting Mistakes

Boneheaded Parenting Mistakes

Everyone has grand plans for how they’ll parent. They’re going to do everything right, and be the perfect mom or dad, and raise the world’s best kid. Becoming a parent forces you to make sacrifices.

And then you have kids. And suddenly you’re in the shit. And when you’re in the shit, things change.

Instead of doing everything right, you start doing plenty of things wrong, making boneheaded parenting mistakes that are probably bad for them, and are definitely bad for you.

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Questionable Parenting in A QUIET PLACE

Questionable Parenting in A QUIET PLACE

Over the weekend, Mom and Buried and I went to the movies. We were visiting my family in Connecticut and we took advantage of the free babysitting to see A Quiet Place.

I enjoyed the movie but I had some issues with it. Particularly with the parenting.

First things first: if you live in a world ravaged by monsters that rely on sound to find you, DON’T GET PREGNANT!

Nonstop spoilers ahead. DON’T CONTINUE IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE MOVIE.

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