With my first child due this September, it seems that almost every day I learn something new and terrifying about babies and their care. Having grown up with two childless older brothers and no cousins in my life, I have had extremely limited exposure to infants. The depth of my ignorance is astounding – so astounding, in fact, I thought I’d post a list about it.
Be aware that this list contains only a small sample of the things I don’t know about how to care for my offspring, and that even a list of the things I don’t know I don’t know would likely dwarf it.
Enjoy after the jump.
Top 10 Things I Don’t Know About Babies 
- At what point they can talk
- At what point they can walk
- At what point they can stand
- How to hold them
- How to change a diaper
- How to stop them from crying
- How to block out the crying and get some sleep
- How to apply a muzzle
- That muzzles aren’t appropriate
- What to name one
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