In the six short years of his life, my son has discovered many new things.
From the taste of an iPhone to the joy of farting and from the delightful sound a messy belly-based raspberry makes to the ear-piercing “welp!” a knee to Daddy’s crotch can elicit, the early years of a child’s life are full of amazing new discoveries. Some of which are innocent and fun, others of which portend a forthcoming decade-plus of agita and frustration for parents.
Like Detective Munch’s discovery and immediate appropriation of lying. And, thanks to his little brother, a newfound awareness of blame.
Once upon a time, we had what might be referred to as a “nice couch.”
That fairy tale lasted about three minutes, because, naive morons that we are, we installed said “nice couch” in a home that held a two-year-old. Four years later, “nice” is nowhere in the vicinity of that couch, and at this point the classification of “couch” itself is rather in jeopardy.
Because kids. And food. And kids who eat food.
A few weeks ago, I wrote about Teddy Soft Bakes, a new snack with a tasty chocolate (or vanilla, if you must) filling that Detective Munch was enjoying. He’s still enjoying them, perhaps a little too much. These bear-shaped treats can become – like nearly everything else in your home when you have a small child – a weapon of mass destruction.
Anytime my son eats anything, he leaves a trail of crumbs behind him, presumably in case he needs to escape a witch later on in his day. The Teddy Soft Bakes are no exception to this daily crumb-ocalypse, but I don’t blame them. They’re too adorable to blame! Besides, I know where the responsibility actually lies. Plus, I’m just glad that he usually sucks the filling out before that can get all over the place too!
Not that any of this is the 6-year-old’s fault. No, now that he has a younger brother, nothing is Detective Munch’s fault! It’s all The Hammer’s fault!
Toys all over the floor? The Hammer did it, never mind that he can’t reach the bin they came from.
Dirty clothes inexplicably strewn all over the kitchen? The Hammer dragged them there, never mind that I literally watched as Detective Munch shed them.
Crumbs and chocolate all over the couch? The Hammer was eating a Teddy Soft Bake! Never mind that there’s literally chocolate on Detective Munch’s face – and a Teddy Soft Bake in his hand! – as we speak!
Again, I know where the responsibility actually lies. Because while I admire his creative attempts to shift the blame to his baby brother, he’s not exactly Professor Moriarty. The game isn’t so much afoot as the blame is incredibly transparent.
Detective Munch’s realization that his younger brother makes a perfect patsy was inevitable. It’s something all older siblings discover, and use to their advantage whenever possible. The Hammer is still pre-verbal, which makes him a sitting duck for his older brother’s shenanigans and blame-shifting.
Thankfully, at this point it’s mostly about crumbs, and not about anything more serious. Even better, the punishment involves confiscating his new favorite treat and saving it for myself.
Except the vanilla ones. He can keep those.
Disclosure: I’m sharing Teddy Soft Bakes in my life as part of a sponsored series for Socialstars™ #myfirstTeddy #discoverTeddy
