Author: Dad and Buried

A fortyish dad dealing with the trials and tribulations of being a two-time father. And simultaneously learning to live without a social life. Like Elton John said, this thing's a circle. I'm getting used to it, but that doesn't mean I'm always happy about it.
Is Your Child Gifted?
07 Dec
Posted in Future 13 comments

Is Your Child Gifted?

When my son was in preschool, we received an informational packet about how we could get him tested for NYC’s “gifted” programs. We decided not to bother.

Not because we don’t think he’s got potential, but because it just seemed like unnecessary stress for a four-year-old. Besides, if Detective Munch is some kind of supergenius, we’ll find out eventually (and laugh all the way to the bank!)

I’m glad we passed on the testing, because last week I saw an article on PopSugar called “Signs Your Child May Be Gifted” that takes all the guesswork out of determining whether your kid might one day be able to buy you an island*.

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No Country for Young Boys
04 Dec
Posted in Fear 5,631 comments

No Country for Young Boys

It’s an easy joke to make.

When there’s another mass shooting, or Trump leads in the polls, or the wrong movie wins Best Picture (remember Crash?), or Trump is an official nominee, or Trump is the actual President(!), it’s funny — kind of fashionable, even — to announce that you’ve had enough and are moving to Canada, or Amsterdam, or Australia, because the country has finally gone insane.

At what point does the joking stop? At what point do you start seriously considering leaving your home country because you’re scared for your kids?

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It’s All Fun and Games…
02 Dec
Posted in Charts and Graphs 13 comments

It’s All Fun and Games…

When you’re a kid, all you want for Christmas, or Hanukkah, or your birthday, are toys. All kinds of toys. Board games, action figures, lightsabers, it barely matters. They’re fun, and they make you happy.

When you’re parent, those same toys become a major source of irritation. They clutter your home, they empty your wallet, they give you a headache…

If you’re lucky.

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Don’t Hate, Appreciate
30 Nov
Posted in Future 381 comments

Don’t Hate, Appreciate

My wife loves when our son sleeps in our bed.

It’s tight, he inevitably chooses some weird, awkward position that usually involves one of his feet in her face or my crotch, but she loves it. Even when his presence makes any actual sleep totally impossible and leaves her completely exhausted the next day.

If I’m being honest, I love it too. Because I know it’s not going to last.

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Smack Balk
29 Nov
Posted in Language 10 comments

Smack Balk

Sometimes watching sports and being a (good) parent is a tough combination. Especially when you’re a Dolphins fan.

I don’t have much to cheer for these days, but I do have plenty to cheer against (primarily the Patriots, Jets, and Bills). Unfortunately, there’s a five-year-old around most of the time, which makes talking smack about my rivals a lot harder.

But I think I may have found a solution. Thank God Detective Munch can’t read!

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