23 Oct

Dad and Buried Posted in Advice One comment

Take This Under Advisement, Jerkweed! – Volume 12

Nobody wants my advice much these days. even though a highly respected and totally anonymous website I’ve never heard of just called me a cross between Louis C.K. and Homer Simpson, which may or may not be a compliment?

I used to run these columns fairly regularly, but now, even when I bang the drum for questions, I hardly get enough to fill the space. Which is a shame, because my advice is not only terrible and potentially damaging, it’s funny and potentially damaging. But without questions, I can offer no answers.

Thus, this may be the last edition of Parental Advisories. You have only yourselves to blame.

30 Apr

Dad and Buried Posted in Advice One comment

How to Be a Funny Parent on Twitter

There are thousands of hilarious parents on Twitter. Of all stripes.

Many of them are featured in the Big Book of Parenting Tweets, and I am flattered to have been selected alongside so many funny moms and dads (I’m in the brand-new sequel too!). There are stay-at-home dads, working moms, gay dads, single moms, goofy dads, nerd moms, asshole dads (that’s me!), etc.

Aside from being parents, about the only thing we all have in common is our constant drinking. Which, of course, is one of the key steps towards being a funny parent on Twitter.

17 Apr

Dad and Buried Posted in Advice 4 comments

The Guide to Hungover Parenting

Last night, we had our neighbors over for a few drinks. Somewhere between my third and fourth beer, I forgot that I have a kid and a job and am thirty-eight, so I had three or four more beers. Now I want to die.

Thankfully, today is Friday, so I’m at work instead of sitting at home trying to occupy a four-year-old who wants me to pretend to be a firetruck-slash-dinosaur and get on my knees and chase him around the house all while holding my head and trying not to throw up.

Hungover parenting is not a lot of fun.

24 Mar

Dad and Buried Posted in Advice 18 comments

The Sad Reality of the Tired Parent

Most of the stuff people tell you about having a baby? Total garbage.

It’s either too much or too little, too intense or too laid back, too judgy or too deadbeat, too scary or not scary enough. And all of it – every single bit – is refracted through each “helpful” person’s own prism, informed by their own experiences and their own specific circumstances, all of which are unique and personal when it comes to even the most generic of tasks, and so esoteric as to be meaningless when it comes to raising children.

But the stuff about losing sleep and being tired? That’s some solid gold truth.

06 Feb

Dad and Buried Posted in Advice 4 comments

Take This Under Advisement, Jerkweed! – Volume 11

Has it really been six months since I last bestowed my parenting wisdom on you people? Shameful.

For some reason, you haven’t been asking me many questions. Maybe I’ve answered them all in my regular posts (possible). Maybe you’re all better parents than me (probable). Maybe you just know better than to turn to me for advice (I hope so). But I have the itch, and I did get a few queries in my latest call on Facebook (Follow me!), so I’m back with more advice!

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Dad and Buried

Category: Advice

Take This Under Advisement, Jerkweed! – Volume 12

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The Guide to Hungover Parenting

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The Sad Reality of the Tired Parent

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Take This Under Advisement, Jerkweed! – Volume 11

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