20 Jun

Dad and Buried Posted in Fear 9 comments

Babysitters Make Me Nervous

As you may know, we’re back in Brooklyn. Which is for the best, even though many of the reasons we left were still waiting for us when we got back: namely the insane cost of living, which includes everything from the rent to the cost of daycare to the price of a six-pack.

One of the most outrageous offenders in the “You gotta be rich just to be poor there” category is the cost of a babysitter. But I’ve whined about how expensive babysitters are already.

Now can I whine about how terrifying they are?

23 May

Dad and Buried Posted in Fear 2 comments

Teenage Dirtbag

Most of the fears you have as a parent involve unlucky things, unfair things. Accidents and disasters, illnesses and tragedy. Most of the fears you have as a parent involve things that aren’t supposed to happen.

But the scariest nightmare of all is neither an accident nor unlucky. In fact, you’re lucky if it does happen. It’s what you want to happen. It’s how life is supposed to go. Your children are supposed to live healthy lives and grow up and become teenagers.

Too bad it sucks so much when they do.

The Parent Lapse

So we have this baby gate. No, we’re not embroiled in some shocking political controversy involving a baby (Babygate, coming soon to theaters near you!), it’s an actual gate for babies.

Like all baby gates, it’s used to prevent babies (and toddlers) from getting places they shouldn’t, particularly staircases (and the Oval Office!). Having exclusively lived in urban apartments, we haven’t had that much need for it, because an apartment with stairs is not an apartment we can afford. However, for the past few months, Detective Munch has been in Grandma and Pop-pop’s house, and Grandma and Pop-pop’s house has stairs. So the baby gate was put back to work.

Except not really. Because I never close it. Because I’m a terrible father.

Bury Your Parenting Secrets

As I suggested last week, every parent has secrets. Unfortunately, not every parent has a secret identity, or a blog via which they can express their innermost feelings under sarcastic cover (I swear!) like I do. There’s nowhere parents can go to escape the wrath of their spouse and children and the authorities.

Until now. I have created a “Buried Secrets” forum, this well of souls, where any parent who feels the need to can get something off their chest without fear of judgment (you know how we feel about that) or embarrassment or the NSA.

Now you can bury your parenting secrets with me, guilt-free!

25 Mar

Dad and Buried Posted in discipline 2 comments

Good Cop/Bad Cop

I’m used to my son preferring my wife. I’m okay with it. It has its perks. Besides, young boys often favor their mothers. It’s biology.

It’s not like my kid and I aren’t close. Yesterday I pretended to eat his face and this morning he told me he doesn’t like it when I breathe. We’re buds!

But as we navigate the threenage wasteland, Mom and Buried and I often have to resort to some good cop/bad cop parenting, which is pretty typical. Unfortunately I’m usually the bad cop.

No wonder he likes Mommy better.

Dad and Buried

Category: Fear

Babysitters Make Me Nervous

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Teenage Dirtbag

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The Parent Lapse

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Bury Your Parenting Secrets

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Good Cop/Bad Cop

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