Category: Future

Must Love Tolerate Dogs
25 Sep
Posted in Future One comment

Must Love Tolerate Dogs

When my wife and I moved in together, one of the first things we did was get a cat. (The next 500 things we did were have arguments about what we would name the cat.)

The cat and I were best buds. The cat and my wife were frenemies. The cat and the world-at-large were chilly acquaintances. The cat and my son? Unfortunately, they never had a chance to get to know each other.

Now that he’s getting a little older, that’s something I want to correct.

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Feeding Frenzy
11 Sep
Posted in discipline 6 comments

Feeding Frenzy

It’s so much easier to be fat.

Okay, maybe it’s not easier to actually BE fat. But it’s definitely easier to GET fat.

And it’s a definitely piece of cake (or three) to let your kids get fat. Feeding them is headache enough even when it’s food they like, but you start putting nutrition into the mix and it becomes [insert hilarious Hunger Games reference here].

It’s so much easier to just let him have the damn french fries again.

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Birthday Parlay
09 Sep
Posted in Future 9 comments

Birthday Parlay

I may be a lot of things. I may be 34. I may be a Dolphins fan. I may be the funniest person my wife has ever met.

But I am not a pretender.

So I’m not gonna sit here and pretend the Fins will make the playoffs. I’m not gonna try to convince you I’m hilarious. I’m not gonna deny (anymore) that I’m actually 36. And I’m not gonna pretend I’ve accomplished all the goals I set out for myself.

And I’m not gonna pretend that matters much to me these days either.

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Kids Are Shameless And That’s A Good Thing
22 Aug
Posted in Fear One comment

Kids Are Shameless And That’s A Good Thing

My son is learning fast and it’s both fun to watch and bittersweet to see, as it means he’s growing up. Soon he’ll have to shed some of the more immature behavior that comes with toddler territory. Like being shameless.

Going to the bathroom in your pants or throwing tantrums or smearing food all over your face at every meal; that stuff just won’t fly when he’s older. But there are some things kids learn that maybe they shouldn’t.

Right now, at two years old, my son knows no shame. And I’d like to keep it that way for as long as possible.

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