I love my kids, I just hate parenting
I’m glad the Cookie Monster released this parody, because playing it for my son gives me the perfect excuse for constantly having the tune stuck in my head. Only problem is, now I absolutely NEED to hear Ernie sing “Somebody That I Used To Know” to Bert.
I am not a “joiner.” I don’t really “participate.” I can’t feign enthusiasm so if I’m not feeling it, you’re not seeing any. Unless I’m drunk.
When I’m sober, you may be able to make me do something (depending on your level of authority) but you can’t make me pretend I want to do it. I’m looking at you, North Carolina State Trooper Jurgenson.
Such rebellion can be fun and empowering, and might even occasionally bear a whiff of integrity. But as a father, it can seem more like vanity, and it has the potential to create issues with your kids. Because when you’re a parent you’re going to be forced to do things you don’t necessarily want to do, and faking it won’t work. You can’t fool children, no matter how big a fake smile you wear, and the last thing I ever want is for my son to think I would rather be doing anything else but spend time with him.
Which is how I recently found myself making animal noises and pretending to be a horse and shaking maracas and singing like a frog. All with a big, genuine smile on my face.
There are a lot of things I’m afraid of my child eventually becoming: addicted to drugs, interested in speed-stacking, a Brony (just kidding, Bronies. Relax.)
Obviously, there will be times in his life when the things he likes don’t mesh with the things I like, and times in his life where he gets heavily into some things that he’ll later regret. Which is fine; happens to all of us. I remember when you were really into Kula Shaker.
But there’s some stuff out there that I just can’t abide…
Read more about The Inappropriate Collection: Things I Shouldn’t Show My Son, #4 …
Disclaimer: I partnered with Best Buy and Skullcandy to promote their headphones, but all opinions and whining about my kids are my own.
Almost every time my wife is on the hook to get me a gift – my birthday, Christmas, our anniversary – she gets me headphones. Over the course of our relationship, I must have gotten a dozen new pairs of headphones. Over the ear, noise-canceling, waterproof, a bluetooth necklace pair; I’ve been gifted them all.
I’m not complaining. I love getting new headphones. I’m always on the lookout for the next best pair. This Father’s Day, I did not get new headphones. Because I didn’t need them.
I have Skullcandy’s Push True Wireless In-Ear Headphones.
Last weekend, Mom and Buried and I took our son to swim lessons.
Yes, he is learning how to swim at only 7 months old. Although “learning” is a bit misleading. More like DOMINATING.
At first it was a little weird to be bringing an infant into a public pool, especially when the woman in charge of the class made everyone start singing. Even MORE especially when I threw my son into the pool before realizing that’s not the best way to teach him how to swim.
At least now I know he’s not a witch.