Category: TV

Has It Come to This?
26 Apr
Posted in Learning 3 comments

Has It Come to This?

Before I became a parent, I made a lot of blanket statements about what I would and wouldn’t do should that day come.

At the top of the list? Putting a leash on my child.

A year and a half in, dealing with an unruly toddler who would like nothing more than to run into traffic or down a spiral staircase or into the maws of a giant piece of machinery, I am thisclose to putting the kid in a cat carrier.

And after the incident last weekend, a leash is starting to seem like the most reasonable thing in the world.

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When Bad Parenting Happens to You
16 Apr
Posted in Fear No comments

When Bad Parenting Happens to You

This weekend – this gorgeous, unseasonably hot weekend – Mom and Buried and I took Detective Munch to the park. We couldn’t keep him cooped up on such beautiful days, right? Plus, on Sunday, there was a Food Truck Rally happening and I needed me some food. Little did I know, there would be a side of bad parenting with it.

We weren’t the only ones with this idea. The park was teeming with people, many of them waiting in long lines to sample some Kimchi Tacos or Sicilian slices or gourmet ice cream sandwiches. We went for the tacos and they – and the accompanying nachos – were fantastic.

The other thing that happened in which I fell down on the parenting job and everyone thought I was an asshole? Not so fantastic.

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Of Allergies and Effigies
11 Apr
Posted in Drinking No comments

Of Allergies and Effigies

Every Spring, for the past two years, I have been faced with a crippling bout of allergies. I never really had them before, so their onset is a tad confusing. I’ve lived in NYC for more than four years now, in the same neighborhood, so as much as this Red Sox fan would love to, I can’t blame the Big Apple.

I’d like to blame the trees, but Marky Mark made that seem too ridiculous. I’d also like to blame The Trees, but my days of listening to Rush were long gone well before the allergies set in.

So after a brief, slightly ill-considered, largely well-inebriated period of elimination, I’ve come to a startling conclusion: I’m allergic to my son.

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The Future is Ow!
05 Apr
Posted in TV No comments

The Future is Ow!

I have seen the future, and it’s one in which my son can’t walk three steps without bumping into EVERYTHING and immediately getting mugged for his bionic glasses. Undeniably impressive – but the video doesn’t reflect actual functionality; it’s only a movie about what Project Glass “might” do. All we really know is that theRead more about The Future is Ow![…]

I Learned It By Watching Someone Else!
29 Mar
Posted in Fear One comment

I Learned It By Watching Someone Else!

My son is at the age where he’s constantly imitating his parents, which is cute, but could eventually get problematic, especially once he can really talk. My wife and I haven’t yet gotten the hang of the whole “we’re role models” aspect of parenting and we swear like sailors (foul-mouthed sailors.) So I worry that our son is going to pick up some bad habits.

That said, I’m not letting some snot-nosed little kid change my personality/behavior/way of life. I mean, I’m like ten times his size and a LOT smarter. A LOT SMARTER. I could literally throw him in the cabinet under the sink and go watch March Madness all day while wearing a beer helmet and he couldn’t do a thing about it. He can’t work latches! So no, I’m not changing for some mush-mouthed nincompoop, not after working my ass off all week long. I’ve gotta live my life too, junior!

But I still want him to grow up right, just without, ya know, working hard at raising him. So, as we Americans do, I sought out a short-cut. And I found one, in television.

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