I love my kids, I just hate parenting
My toddler doesn’t exactly lie yet.
He does, but it’s so innocent – and about such childish things – that I hesitate to call it lying. It’s more like acting. Since the Oscars are tonight, I thought I’d give my kid a few meaningless trophies that probably should have gone to someone else.
In honor of the female Super Bowl (with apologies to the opening weekend of the Sex and the City movie), I give you a list of my kid’s best performances.
I loved college.
While there are always exceptions, it’s almost hard not to love college. For many kids, it’s the first taste of freedom, a hint of real life without any of the “real” part. You live on your own, you hang out with big groups of friends, you have unfettered access to the opposite sex. Sure, you have some “responsibilities,” but with a little common sense it doesn’t take much to maintain them and still have plenty of time to just have fun.
When you’re in college, you don’t yet know what you don’t know and, as a result, life is blissful. Everything’s in front of you. It’s not until you graduate and spend a few years in the real world that you realize how good you had it.
Being a parent is a different kind of education – one that kind of works in reverse, in that it’s a bit of a grind and you don’t see a lot of the payoff until much later – that’s only if your kids don’t grow up to be assholes. But a good fifteen years removed – and no, I will not be attending any reunions so don’t paw at me with your dirty little guild – I am able to see some similarities between the life of a college student and that of a toddler.
Read more about Toddlers and College Students: Same Difference …
Like Max Fischer’s plays, but with even younger kids! “Yes, but now we’re going to do it legislatively.” “Exciting.”
My kid just got accepted to what I suppose could be considered a slightly exclusive preschool. I mean, they sent an acceptance letter!
Upon receiving said letter, I sent an all-caps, multi-exclamation mark text message to Mom and Buried, announcing that “WE DID IT!”
Don’t worry, I was being sarcastic.
Yesterday, upon hearing news about plans for a 4th Toy Story movie, I wrote a tweet poking fun at how dark the last movie was and where the latest sequel might go if it continued to up the stakes. Judging by how many people starred and retweeted what was an inappropriate – and really notRead more about Zombie Post: You Can’t Unsee Toy Story 3[…]