Tag: babies

Personality Crisis
07 Oct
Posted in SERIOUS! 11 comments

Personality Crisis

My six-year-old is a lot like me and not just in the typical ways all kids are like their parents.

After spending so much time around Mom and Buried and me and observing our behavior, he’s definitely picked up a lot of phrases and mannerisms – from both of us. But, in the same way he’s inherited my face, it seems pretty clear that Detective Munch has also straight-up downloaded my personality.

And that really sucks. I feel like I need to apologize to him.

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Vacationing with Kids
05 Oct
Posted in Scary Mommy No comments

Vacationing with Kids

I’d like to say that it seemed like a good idea at the time, but I’d be lying.

I’ve gone on vacations with my kids before. (Well, with my lone kid. The second one is brand new.) And while they’ve been fun, they don’t exactly qualify as vacations. Vacations are meant to be about relaxation, and recharging, maybe some reading, and maybe getting some extra rest. Vacationing with kids is a different thing entirely.

This past spring, when I took my 5-year-old and my 3-month-old on our first family-of-four vacation, I was not anticipating much in the way of relaxation. (I’m not really anticipating either of those things ever again.)

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In Defense of Being Tired
16 Sep
Posted in Uncategorized 5 comments

In Defense of Being Tired

I’m tired.

I just turned 40. I have a six-year-old (as of yesterday!) and an eight-month-old. I have a full-time job, a full-time blog, and a full-time wife. I am tired.

I’m tired because I rarely get enough sleep, but I’m also tired when I get a full eight hours. I’m even tired when I get extra sleep, because all that does is remind my body how much more sleep I need! I was tired yesterday, I am tired right now, and I will be tired tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, the rest of this decade, and for the foreseeable future.

But maybe that’s not such a bad thing?

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Underrated Milestones
13 Sep
Posted in Uncategorized 4 comments

Underrated Milestones

My second kid turned eight months old yesterday. He has a few teeth, we’ve started easing him into baby food (with disastrous results), and he’s looking to crawl any minute, which is going to severely complicate my life and increase my stress level.

Meanwhile, the original kid started first grade last week. He is about to lose a few teeth, tried oysters for the first time over the summer (loved them!), and, most significantly, is dangerously close to being able to read the channel guide, thus preventing me from lying about his shows not being on.

This is all very momentous, obviously, but when do my kids’ developmental milestones start benefiting me?

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What’s in a Nickname?
31 Aug
Posted in Babies 21 comments

What’s in a Nickname?

Like many parenting bloggers, I use nicknames when I write about my kids.

I employ these nicknames in a half-hearted attempt to protect the privacy of children that I already wholeheartedly exploit every single day. (And it would be even more wholehearted if someone would actually pay me to exploit them! My door is always open.

As you probably already know, when writing about them online, I refer to my five-year-old (he’ll be six in two weeks!) as Detective Munch and I refer to my baby as The Hammer. I get asked about the origins of those names fairly frequently, but I don’t think I’ve ever explained them (on my blog). So if you’re curious, today’s your lucky day.

But there’s a catch. I need your help!

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