I love my kids, I just hate parenting
Earlier this year, when I wrote about the lack of Disney in children’s lives earlier this year, a few people chimed in to tell me I have a blind spot because I don’t have a daughter.
Which is exactly right.
But Disney is not just about girls – nor is it particularly absent – when you consider all the properties they own. Which you’ll be able to do at will this fall, since Disney is now on Netflix.
My six-year-old won’t be watching the first presidential debate tonight because a) he’s six and b) he doesn’t need to hear the terrible things people will say during the debate, and by “people” I mean me and by “terrible things” I mean the filthy words I will be yelling at the screen every time Trump speaks.
In a perfect world, Donald Trump will get crushed in November and retreat back to one of his gross hotels, never to be seen again except all the time everywhere because he is a craven opportunist with absolutely no shame and the media worships him. But that’s fine, he can have his TV appearances, so long as I never have to explain to my kids why a misogynistic bigot is President of the United States.
But it’s possible, and in order to be prepared for that possibility, I’ve begun trying to think of ways to explain President Trump in terms my six-year-old can understand.
I hate talking on the phone. I hate it so much that if we are in the middle of a conversation via text, and then you call me, I will ignore the phone and continue texting you.
First of all, talking on the phone is the literal worst. Second of all, whether you respond to an email with a phone call, respond to a text with a email, or respond to a phone call with a text, changing mediums MID-CONVERSATION is the height of rudeness!
Well, actually calling someone is the height of rudeness, but switching mediums midstream is a close second! Anyway, here are three scenarios illustrating why texting is better than calling.
Last week, I shared a goofy post comparing kids to politicians. I didn’t take a side, at least not one that isn’t anti-kids or anti-politicians, but I did attach an old e-card to the post that took aim at Republicans.
Which turned out to be unfortunate – but not because I am a Republican. (When it comes to party affiliation, I have none; I’m registered as an independent, although I am pretty staunchly liberal.) It’s unfortunate because many people who saw the e-card couldn’t see anything else and quickly got mad at me for mocking the GOP.
But they mostly got upset that I was discussing politics on my Facebook page and on my website. Apparently, politics doesn’t have a place on a humor page or a parenting page.
Yeah. That’s bullshit.
A few weeks ago, I wrote something for Scary Mommy called “Can’t A SAHM Get a Little Love?”
It was about the need for working dads staying woke to the difficulties of being a stay-at-home mom, and to lend a hand when they get home. Because caring for children may not require going to an office, but that doesn’t mean it’s not hard work, and the least a working spouse can do is not add to the exhaustion, frustration, and stress when they get home.
But guess what? The 9-5 life ain’t no picnic either. Can’t working parents get a little love?