Tag: drinking

Let Freedom Sting
08 Jul
Posted in Babies No comments

Let Freedom Sting

If you’ve been following me on social media, you probably know that I’ve been on my own the past few days.

We were at my parents for the holiday weekend, and while I came back to NYC on Tuesday to go to work, Mom and Buried and the kids stuck around. The kids got to hang with Grandma (consequences be damned) and Mom and Buried was able to get some work done without paying for a babysitter. Or camp.

Meanwhile, I was living the high life, bachelor style! FREEDOM!

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How to Keep Friends After Having Kids
24 Jun
Posted in Babies 4 comments

How to Keep Friends After Having Kids

I recently saw an article entitled “How to Keep Friends After Having Kids” and my first thought was something like, “That’s easy! Just don’t be a jerk.”

I didn’t bother to read past the headline, but I’m pretty sure it didn’t include that obvious suggestion. It probably had some serious advice to offer. Although if you’re not sure how to hang onto friends after you have kids, I don’t know if anything can help you, let alone a post I saw in my Facebook feed.

Except maybe this one!

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Streaming Me To Drink
23 Jun
Posted in Drinking One comment

Streaming Me To Drink

My son doesn’t watch Caillou.

Caillou is the show that provokes the most anger and disdain from most of the parents I know, online and off, but I’ve never seen it! I know of its reputation, and I understand that the fact that Detective Munch doesn’t watch it is probably a good thing (although some friends of mine swear it’s oddly soothing), but I’ve escaped its wrath.

Which isn’t to say my son doesn’t watch other shows that drive me to drink.
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Taking Kids to the Movies Sucks
16 May
Posted in Movies 3 comments

Taking Kids to the Movies Sucks

I used to go to 100-plus movies a year. Then I became a parent.

Last week, I saw a movie in the theater for the first time in a while. An adult movie. (Well, it was a superhero movie, so “adult” may be a stretch. But it’s not exactly for five-year-olds either. A guy gets shot in the head, point-blank. I think my kid can wait a few years to see that.) It’s a rare occurrence these days.

I’m just not going to spend 100 bucks on a babysitter so I can go sit in a dark room and not talk to my wife. If I’m spending 100 bucks on a babysitter, I’m gonna go sit in a candlelit room and silently stare at my wife while we guzzle overpriced booze. So the only time I see movies is when I take my kid, and that’s not the same.

Because taking kids to the movies sucks.

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