12 Jan

Dad and Buried Posted in Babies 7,535 comments

This Changes Everything

I had no idea it would be this complicated.

I know, I know: I signed up for this, I should have known what I was getting into. Hell, I’d even done the research, reading up online, getting friends opinions, interacting with different kinds just to see how it felt. But when it’s yours, it’s a brand new ballgame.

For years I railed against them. I’m older now. Things have changed. I’ve changed. And when it came time to take it home, I was not even close to prepared for it. This changes everything.

11 Jan

Dad and Buried Posted in Babies 514 comments

His Brother’s Keeper?

If things go according to plan, today will be my last day as the father of an only child. More importantly, tomorrow will be the first day of my son’s life as a big brother.

While Mom and Buried and I are learning all over again what it’s like to live with a newborn, my son will be exploring the brave new world of being a big brother. There will be jealousy. There will be territorial spats. Eventually, if his relationship with his brother is anything like every other sibling relationship, there will be wrestling.

Hopefully, there will not be blood.

Read more about His Brother’s Keeper? …

05 Jan

Dad and Buried Posted in Eating No comments

Sympathy Pain

My wife is pregnant. Capital-P pregnant. Like, nearly ten months, ready to burst, hating life, “why did I do this?” pregnant.

I am not pregnant. But, out of solidarity, I spent the holidays doing my best to make it seem like I was. Because I’m a good husband.

And a stupid idiot.

Expect the Unexpected

A kid in my high school biology class once asked our teacher if a woman could give birth to a snake. And we’ve been close friends ever since!

Thankfully, none of Mom and Buried’s ultrasounds have shown a cobra. And I already have a kid. So even though I’m not a biology teacher, and it’s been five years since I’ve had a newborn baby around and I don’t remember much about how to care for one, I have a pretty good idea of what’s coming (sometime in the next two weeks).

Yet despite the fact that I have an existing child on whom to base my expectations for my second baby’s personality and appearance, in reality, I don’t have a clue. And that’s got me pretty excited.

Read more about Expect the Unexpected …

25 Dec

Dad and Buried Posted in holidays 16 comments

The Worst Gifts For Kids

This isn’t about dangerous toys. I honestly wouldn’t even know where to begin such a list. When I was a kid, if you wore a bike helmet you were King Dork of Nerd Mountain. Nowadays, you need a helmet just to ride the school bus or you’ll end up suing the NFL.

The standards for safety have changed so drastically that I’ve pretty much stopped giving my kid anything that has corners. (I’m not even joking: my son has never had a Saltine. NOTHING BUT RITZ.)

Instead, this list is about the worst gifts for kids. Not all kids, like I said, I can’t speak to that. These are the worst gifts to buy your own children.

Dad and Buried

Tag: funny

This Changes Everything

Like this:

His Brother’s Keeper?

Like this:

Sympathy Pain

Like this:

Expect the Unexpected

Like this:

The Worst Gifts For Kids

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this: