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Bummer Camp
12 Aug
Posted in Fear 5 comments

Bummer Camp

Back in the summer of 1986, my older brother and I attended a sleep-away camp. He was twelve and going with a friend. I was only nine, but after going along on a reconnaissance mission earlier that year, I had decided I wanted to attend the camp too.

It was two weeks long, in some far off part of Connecticut (as far off as you can get in a state as small as Connecticut) and for some reason we would be joining the camp in the middle of the summer session.

It was my first time, and for reasons that will quickly become obvious, my last time, at sleep-away camp.

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[E-card] What Breastfeeding Says About You
05 Aug
Posted in ECard No comments

[E-card] What Breastfeeding Says About You

It’s World Breastfeeding Week. I don’t think that means I get to partake, but I’m gonna go ahead and support it anyway. I mean, there’s no point in stopping now.

A few months ago I wrote something about breastfeeding, in which I suggested that many of us do far more disgusting things in public than those mothers who dare keep their helpless children alive through the miracle of biology.

The uproar over seeing a woman do something so natural, necessary and worthwhile always confuses me. But I think I’ve finally figured out why it makes some people so upset.

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Parenting Job Titles
24 Jul
Posted in discipline 4 comments

Parenting Job Titles

When you’re a parent, you take on a lot of roles.

You’re still the person you were before you were a parent (to varying degrees), but now you’re also the person your kid knows as Mommy or Daddy. And then you’re the million different things your kid needs you to be over the course of the day.

If this were a resume it would 30 pages long.

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My Kid Hates Me Already
20 Jul
Posted in Drinking 3 comments

My Kid Hates Me Already

Even before I became a dad, I knew my kid was going to hate me someday.

At some point, probably somewhere around his 13th or 14th birthday, I’ll become Public Enemy #1. There’s no avoiding it; it’s biology! Most of us “hated” our parents when we were teens, for reasons both real and imagined (mostly imagined) and motivated by hormones, a need for independence, and, occasionally, outright shitty parents.

Now we’re the parents. The turntables have turned, and we’re going to be hated the same way we “hated” (your use of quotation marks may vary) our moms and dads.

I’m ready for it. I just didn’t expect it to happen so soon.

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