You’re a Good Parent

You’re a Good Parent

I don’t know you. And I don’t know your kids.

I have no idea what they’re like, how they act in public, at restaurants, in movie theaters. I don’t know if they have good manners, if they curse, if they listen to you more than they don’t, if they eat their dinners without argument and clean their rooms when asked.

I’ve never met you and probably never will. I couldn’t pick you out in a lineup. (I hope you’re not in any line-ups.) I don’t know if you’re quick to yell, or if you’re lazy, or if you’re neglectful.

But that doesn’t matter. I know you’re a good parent.

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[E-card] What Breastfeeding Says About You

[E-card] What Breastfeeding Says About You

It’s World Breastfeeding Week. I don’t think that means I get to partake, but I’m gonna go ahead and support it anyway. I mean, there’s no point in stopping now.

A few months ago I wrote something about breastfeeding, in which I suggested that many of us do far more disgusting things in public than those mothers who dare keep their helpless children alive through the miracle of biology.

The uproar over seeing a woman do something so natural, necessary and worthwhile always confuses me. But I think I’ve finally figured out why it makes some people so upset.

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Fair Comparisons

Fair Comparisons

If you’ve spent anytime on my blog, you probably know I’m no stranger to a good list.

I have written a lot of them, and almost all of them are collections of hilarious AND TRUE ways that children or parenting (or writing lists!) is/are like other things, like prison or homeless people (or writing lists!).

Comparing children to non-children things is a popular pastime, and an easy way to both let off steam and give non-parents an idea of what the child-rearing experience is like. Most of the time the comparisons are extreme, because everyone knows exaggeration is the absolute funniest thing in the history of the universe. But they all have a kernel of truth.

So which are the funniest and most fair comparisons? I’m glad you asked.

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Repetition Breeds Contempt

Repetition Breeds Contempt

Having children gives you the opportunity to appreciate anew all the wonderful stuff you take for granted when you become an adult, the classic children’s books and films and cartoons you grew up with are part of that.

Lately I’ve been discovering that sometimes the reverse happens, and your children actually make you hate the things you once loved.

Repetition breeds contempt.

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