02 Apr

Dad and Buried Posted in Health 4,264 comments

Homeless or Toddler?

My wife called me today to alert me to the latest adorable thing my son did. Are you ready for this?!

She was getting him ready for his bath, and he decided that the moment right AFTER his diaper came off was the perfect moment to urinate. So urinate he did, all over the floor. Then he slipped in his own urine. And fell. Into his own urine.

SUPER CUTE, right? The kind of thing you’d expect to see an adorable homeless man do while you’re waiting for the subway. I’m actually a little shocked I haven’t seen that happen. I live in New York!

But toddlers and the homeless have a lot of other behavior in common. So much so that it can be hard to tell them apart.

Let’s try.

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29 Feb

Dad and Buried Posted in Babies 2 comments

Toddlers are Crazy

My son is an anarchist. It’s not really his fault, since all toddlers are anarchists. But it’s just a stage he’s going through. I hope.

Maybe they’re not anarchists in the true sense of the word, since they aren’t so much about politics or even abolishing or ignoring rules; they don’t exactly grasp the concept of rules, so it might be a little unfair to label them that way. But it’s clear that they hate rules or boundaries of any kind, even if they can’t articulate why.

Regardless, living with an anarchist is hard work. And whether my son is technically an anarchist or just behaves like one, the end result is essentially the same: CHAOS.

(Not) Sleeping with the Enemy

We are one of the lucky ones: our child sleeps.

Wary of all the horror stories, we opted to give Cry It Out a shot. It worked like a charm (and I recommend it up and down). When our son goes to sleep, he stays asleep. For 11 to 12 hours. Every night.

But, every once in a while, when he’s not feeling well or is tossing and turning, we will let him sleep in our bed.

It never goes well.

25 Jan

Dad and Buried Posted in Judgment 15,973 comments

Judgment Nay

Recently, I read a great post on Baltimore Magazine’s “Learning to Crawl” parenting blog. It was essentially a confession from a fellow father that he is a terrible parent.

The post is largely facetious, but only because it was written by a man who has been a parent for five years now. Had it been written prior to his son’s birth, I imagine it would have been a lot more serious. Because before he’d actually had the kid, the guy didn’t know what he was talking about.

His piece is really about the futility of parenting decisions that are made in a vacuum, and I agree with a lot of what he says. Kids aren’t lab rats; in fact, it doesn’t take long for us new parents to realize that we’re the lab rats. We’re the ones being tested. And, as the post enumerates, we’re the ones that are constantly failing.

At least according to all the self-appointed parenting judges out there.

Cute for a Reason

2011 was a pretty fun year for me. My kid exited his fourth trimester (the first three months of his life, from mid-September to mid-December) and emerged as a little human being, with a personality, expressions, lots of incoherent babbling and, eventually, the ability to walk and say a variety of words.

Watching that emerging personality and continued discovery of new information and abilities goes a long way towards mitigating what can otherwise be a tough stage of parenting. Because babies are dumb. Not because they’re stupid, just because they don’t know anything yet. And they are the opposite of independent. Like, “citizens of North Korea” opposite. They need us for everything.

They’re cute for a reason.

Dad and Buried

Tag: motherhood

Homeless or Toddler?

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