Toddlers and Bullies Have a Lot in Common

Toddlers and Bullies Have a Lot in Common

As both a Miami Dolphins fan and a not-exactly-physically-imposing writer type, I am really torn on this whole bullying scandal.

Bullying is deplorable, and, despite being raised in an era (not all that long ago, really) when the default suggestion for dealing with bullies was to fight back and expose the bully as the coward he truly is, fighting fire with fire is no longer an acceptable tactic. But judging what goes on in a football locker rooms by the same standards with which we judge “the real world” is a little insane. I’m not defending Richie Incognito’s actions, but context is important, and I don’t think we have all of it. It’s impossible for non-football players to understand what it’s like in that environment, but I am relatively certain it’s less like your cubicle farm and more like The Hunger Games.

That said, I always find it obnoxious and condescending when someone tells me I can’t possibly know what something is like because I haven’t experienced it. And then I thought about parenting. And I realized most parents take the same attitude with non-parents, and it’s equally obnoxious and condescending.

But that doesn’t make it false. And the inability of outsiders to fully understand what the day-to-day is like is just one of the ways parenting a toddler is like being on the Miami Dolphins.

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Take This Under Advisement, Jerkweed! – Volume 8

Take This Under Advisement, Jerkweed! – Volume 8

Advice isn’t hard. All you have to do is put yourself in someone else’s shoes and then pretend you are smarter than them.

Parents do it CONSTANTLY. It’s one of the reasons everyone hates us.

Which brings us to the latest installment of Dad and Buried’s Terrible Parenting Advice. So long as you follow it or do the EXACT OPPOSITE, things should work out just fine for you and your family.

But don’t quote me on that.

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Zombie Post: Tiny Terror

Zombie Post: Tiny Terror

It’s Halloween! Which seems like an appropriate time for a Zombie Post. In browsing my blog archives, I realized I have countless posts about how terrifying it is to be a parent and how scary the job of raising a human being is. The post I’m resurrecting today is about how frightening kids themselves canRead more about Zombie Post: Tiny Terror[…]

The Secret Sexism of Halloween

The Secret Sexism of Halloween

I try not to preach a lot, especially about parenting.

For one thing, I’m not qualified. For another, no one is. But sometimes something gets under my skin so deeply that I can’t let it go, and as my son’s third Halloween approaches – the first where he actively chose his own costume – I have to speak up.

Halloween has become an incredibly sexist holiday. TOWARDS BOYS.

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Five Ways Kids Are Like Dogs

Five Ways Kids Are Like Dogs

Full disclosure: I’ve done it myself.

Years ago, in my cynical pre-fatherhood stage, I compared babies to pets. Unfavorably, because at least pets have, as I wrote at the time, “furry upside.”

I stand by that, as I enjoy my still cynical mid-fatherhood stage. In many ways, pets are more rewarding than babies. Obviously, babies evolve, and eventually having a child has advantages over owning a dog or a cat (don’t even talk to me about birds and fish and gerbils and hamsters). Eventually.

Right now, I have a toddler. And sometimes I might rather have a puppy.

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