12 Jun

Dad and Buried Posted in discipline One comment

Fun with Discipline

Disciplining your children can be hard. But with the right attitude, disciplining your children can be a laugh riot!

I love putting my son in time-out, not letting him stay up any later, taking things away from him. Not food or shelter or love (I’m an asshole, not a psychopath!), but toys, and TV, and the other little perks of childhood. I don’t do it to instill values or help make him appreciate what he already has. I don’t even do it because he’s so spoiled already that it serves as a nice change of pace.

While those benefits are all well and good, I like depriving my son of the things he wants because it’s funny and it makes me feel better.

[E-card] Children are Monsters

Having kids can occasionally feel like living in a monster movie. Because children are monsters!

When you kid bites you, he might as well be a vampire. When she screams up a storm, she can be as terrifying as a banshee. When they try to wipe their own butt, they often end up looking like a mummy. For the first few years of their lives, they all walk like Frankenstein’s monster.

And every single one of them reduces your home to rubble, like one monster in particular…

05 Jun

Dad and Buried Posted in Lists No comments

Stuff Kids Love to Interrupt

Every time my wife and I show each other any kind of affection, Detective Munch comes bombing over to get in on the action.

He’s like Pepé Le Pew, if Pepé Le Pew were into incestuous threesomes. (Which: probably?)

He’s always butting in! I literally don’t remember what it’s like to have time alone.

03 Jun

Dad and Buried Posted in stress No comments

Tinder for Parents

Back when I was single, the internet barely existed.

Social media certainly wasn’t a thing yet; I graduated college before Facebook even launched. And online dating? It was something only the most desperate, undesirable people did to find love.

The fact that I met Mom and Buried through the internet used to inspire chuckles. If it happened today, no one would even blink. Of course, today, if I were looking for someone via an online service, it wouldn’t be for a romantic dinner. It would be for some parenting backup!

I wonder what Tinder for parents would look like?

Sleepover! (Emphasis on OVER)

A few weeks ago, we planned a babysitting swap with some friends of ours.

They agreed to take our Detective Munch for a night, all night, overnight!, so Mom and Buried and I could go out and pretend to be twenty-year-olds again. More importantly, we could wake up and pretend to be twenty-year-olds again. And then, a few weeks down the line, we would repay the favor. It seemed like a great idea.

This weekend, it was our turn. To take our friends’ two kids.

We didn’t think this through.

Dad and Buried

Tag: toddlers

Fun with Discipline

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[E-card] Children are Monsters

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Stuff Kids Love to Interrupt

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Tinder for Parents

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Sleepover! (Emphasis on OVER)

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