Stupid Toddler Tricks

Stupid Toddler Tricks

Everyone laments the speed with which kids grow up. (Almost everyone.) Parents are constantly warning other parents how quickly a kid’s childhood flies by and how, before you know it, the apple of your eye is in college.

But that’s not what scares me. Watching my kid get older will definitely be bittersweet in the long-run, but I’m more concerned with the now. Specifically, the double-edged sword that is my son’s rapidly increasing intelligence and physical development, and how it affects me on a daily basis. Because every new skill my son acquires brings with it an increase to my day-to-day stress.

The smarter he gets, the more difficult my life becomes.

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The Parent Voice

The Parent Voice

I’ve seen my wife get angry before, believe me.

I’m a guy, she’s a girl, we’ve had our share of disagreements. I’ve heard her yell, seen her scowl, watched her throw stuff. Guys do guy things, women are insane; it is what it is. Every single guy on earth knows what I’m talking about. Right, John Wayne Bobbitt? Andre Rison? Chaz Bono?

But Mom Rage is different than Wife or Girlfriend Rage. And the first time you see the mother of your children get angry at your kids? Yikes.

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Kids are Sponges

Kids are Sponges

“Little kids are sponges.”

You hear it all the time, and it’s true. My son’s vocabulary increases every day, and most of what he’s learning he gets right from Mom and Dad, such as his first “curse” word, the relatively innocuous “dammit!” Needless to say, we’ve had to become a lot more careful about the words we use. It’s a bit of a pain.

But there’s a flip side to that coin. Sure, he parrots a lot of stuff we don’t even realize we’ve said around him, or don’t necessarily want him to be saying, but we can also train him to provide some entertainment. For example…

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Trick or Beat!

Trick or Beat!

Every morning, when we ask my son what he wants to wear today, he says “Gabba!”

Every day. No matter that we’re deep into fall and his “Yo Gabba Gabba” shirt has short sleeves. He wants to wear it every day. I kind of suspect that he thinks “Gabba” means “clothes.”

“What do you want to wear today?”
“Clothes!”
“You got it, kid!”

But this Halloween, we took him at his word and went one further with his request. He wore a full-fledged DJ Lance Rock costume.

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Don’t STFU, Blog

Don’t STFU, Blog

With 1.5 million views a month, I could easily assume that you’ve already heard of STFU, Parents. Besides, you’re reading this so-called parenting blog…though it’s not exactly the same thing.

If you haven’t heard of it, no worries; you’re about to. Partially because the author just shed her anonymity and is making a media tour of sorts, and partially because I am telling you about it right now. The about page describes STFU, Parents as a “submission-based “public service” blog that mocks parent overshare on social networking sites.”

Consider this a public service announcement.

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