The Snuggle is Real

15 Sep birthday, the snuggle is real, #thesnuggleisreal, parenting, funny, humor, family, children, life, photos, moms, dads, kids

As you’ve probably figured out by now, I primarily use this blog to vent, to crack jokes, to scratch my creativity itch, and as an outlet for sarcasm. But when all is said and done, these posts will ultimately add up to one long journal. It will serve as a collection of memories from my son’s early life and a scrapbook of moments from my life as a parent, many of which might otherwise be forgotten in my son’s sprint through childhood.

I swear, he outgrows something new every day, and sometimes I just want him to slow down. He’s not going to, of course, which reminds me: Detective Munch turns four today!

This is probably the last blog you expect to get sappy – at least I hope it is. But if you’ve been paying attention, you might know that my son’s birthday is just about the only time a year I allow myself to go a little soft.

Starting today, I’m going to give you an opportunity to go soft with me. Wow, that sounds really gross.

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Choose Your Own Adventure

10 Sep

decision tree Choose Your Own Adventure

My Son is Making Me Feel Old

8 Sep creationism, parenting, evolution, home schooling, development, education, dads, future, fear, toddlers, pre-K, motherhood, anxiety, dad bloggers, aging booth, aging, old, birthday, steve miller, fly like an eagle

Tomorrow is my birthday. (No gifts please, just Facebook likes. Trying to hit 10k!)

I don’t really worry much about my birthdays. Despite my steadily increasing amount of grey hairs and my steadily decreasing amount of all hairs (REVERSE JINX!), I’m not one to panic about my age. At least not yet. (Ask me again in two years, when I’m hitting 40.)

Of course, having a kid forces one to reevaluate the passage of time, and having a kid whose birthday is a mere six days after mine isn’t helping.

It’s almost like he’s chasing me.

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Why I Vaccinated My Son

5 Sep vaccines, vaccination, anti-vaxxers, jenny mccarthy autism, parenting, funny, humor, science, facts, health, children, dads, moms, life, fear, future, walking dead, norman reedus

Look, I don’t know if vaccines cause autism. Or Guillian-Barre Syndrome. Or seizures. I don’t think they do, but could be wrong.

Believe me, I like a good conspiracy as much as the next person, and I hate Big Pharma as much as the next person, and I am probably more cynical than most people. And I believe there are plenty of smart, well-educated, equally cynical, equally sane people who have good reason to think vaccinations have harmed their children in a variety of ways. I don’t know if they’re right. I’m not a scientist, I haven’t done the experiments. Maybe they have (they haven’t).

But for me, right and wrong isn’t the point. For me, it comes down to risk.

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[E-card] Rap Babble

3 Sep

beatboxing ecard2 [E card] Rap Babble

Being a Kid is Hard?

2 Sep simpsons, life is hard, toddlers, parenting, children, adults, family, funny, humor, dads, moms, kids, children, home, lifestyle, whining, life is hard

The other day, during a particularly stressful endurance test at the dinner table, Mom and Buried chided me for getting so frustrated at Detective Munch’s eating (or lack thereof) habits. She told me that I needed to step back and realize that as hard as parenting can be, it’s pretty tough to be a three-year-old too.

My inadequacy as a father notwithstanding – although I would argue that no parent should be judged by their reaction to a toddler’s dinnertime hi-jinks – that’s some bullshit right there.

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“Family Vacation” is an Oxymoron

22 Aug download (1)

Things are going to be quiet around here for the next week or so, because Dad and Buried is going on vacation!

I’m actually a little reluctant to call it a vacation, since I’m bringing my toddler along. Yes, I’m taking the week off from work, and from my blog (I’ll still be updating my Facebook page every now and then, so be sure to follow me there!), and I’ll be at the beach. But I don’t know how much relaxation will be happening, as it’s not exactly my son’s middle name.

His middle name is actually “GET THE F*** DOWN FROM THERE YOU’RE GOING TO KILL YOURSELF!”

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[E-card] A Whole New World

20 Aug

perspective sunrise ecard1 [E card] A Whole New World

The Worst Baby Names Ever!

19 Aug parenting, parenthood, dad bloggers, judgment, moms, dads, baby names, celebrities, cheezburger, lolcats

There’s nothing parents enjoy more than judging other parents.

Don’t believe me? Go post a picture of your toddler in his car seat and see how long it takes for someone to question the way he’s strapped in.

Nobody knows better for your child than some other child’s mom or dad and nobody is quicker to let you know.

Especially when it comes to names.

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How To Avoid Buying Crap For Your Kids

15 Aug Barclays center, toddlers, parenting, funny, tips, humor, dad bloggers, Marvel Universe Live!, superheroes, Thor, Spider-man, the Hulk, souvenirs, Iron Man,

Lat night, I took my kid to see Marvel Universe LIVE!, an arena-based stunt show featuring what seemed to be every single major, minor and tertiary character from Marvel Comics history. Let’s just say it was a little overstuffed.

At least the second act was (there’s a twenty-minute intermission while they rework the sets), which was all I really saw. I spent almost the entire first act in line at the concession stand waiting for twenty dollars worth of hot dogs (i.e., 3 hot dogs). By the time I got back inside to the show, Loki had already made off with the cosmic cube (or something) and the bevy of costumed stuntmen were moving around and/or standing in place while pre-recorded dialogue was played over the loudspeakers.

(For some reason Spider-man was really into social media (read: annoying) and constantly said stuff like, “SELFIE!” and “I gotta tweet about this!”)

Needless to say my son loved it, and was desperate for a souvenir with which to mark the momentous occasion that he won’t give a shit about in less than two weeks.

Here’s how I avoided buying him one.

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