Mom Fails

5 May motherhood, mother's day, moms, dads, parenting, equality, kids, fatherhood, funny, humor, dad and buried, dad bloggers, star wars, superheroes

According to the hourly reminders that someone set on my phone, Mother’s Day is this weekend. It’s the one solitary day all year long that anyone ever says anything nice about moms.

That last line there was a little bit of sarcasm. Because let’s face it, when it comes to parenting, moms already get all the praise.

Sure, that “praise” often calcifies into “being taken for granted,” which is just about complaint #1 from women everywhere (along with “I want more romance/passion!” and “socks go IN the hamper, not NEAR the hamper!”) but if you think about it, it’s a positive thing! Abilities and skills are only taken for granted once someone comes to rely on them. Kudos, moms everywhere! You’ve raised the bar for yourselves.

Unfortunately, that bar is just a little too high for your liking. So I’m going to level the playing field.

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How to Be a Funny Parent on Twitter

30 Apr parenting best, twitter, e-card, toddlers, parenting, parenthood, lifestyle, family, home, moms, dads, kids, iphone, technology, texting, funny, dad blogger, e-card, dad and buried

There are thousands of hilarious parents on Twitter. Of all stripes.

Many of them are featured in the Big Book of Parenting Tweets, and I am flattered to have been selected alongside so many funny moms and dads (I’m in the brand-new sequel too!). There are stay-at-home dads, working moms, gay dads, single moms, goofy dads, nerd moms, asshole dads (that’s me!), etc.

Aside from being parents, about the only thing we all have in common is our constant drinking. Which, of course, is one of the key steps towards being a funny parent on Twitter.

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Supermessy

29 Apr

Today’s Wordless Wednesday (with some words) revolves around my son’s current obsession: superheroes.

He’s constantly pretending to be one and frequently enlists me in exciting battles, during which he’s usually wearing a costume and always jumping on my private parts.

While I may occasionally sport a mask or two during these games, he almost always wears a cape.

He has a lot of capes.

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The Rules of Distraction

28 Apr parenting, obesity, fast food, smartphones, texting, children, kids, technology, dads, moms, motherhood, fatherhood, dad and buried, dad bloggers, funny, humor, dad blogs, playground

Yesterday, I spent almost 90 minutes at the playground with my son, watching as he raced around with friends old and new, pretending to be a superhero, playing impromptu games of tag, and participating in climbing competitions and slide-caravans.

He knew I was there, and occasionally sought me out if there was a conflict or he wanted a drink, but otherwise he didn’t need me much.

So I scrolled Twitter and checked Facebook and sent a few emails and texts.

This makes me a bad parent?

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Breastfeeding Frenzy

24 Apr breastfeeding, breastfeeding frenzy, dad and buried, dad bloggers, funny, humor, dads, parenthood, motherhood, moms, kids, family, babies, public breastfeeding

Earlier this week, I poked fun at the recent trend of celebrities bravely “normalizing” breastfeeding by doing it in public. The idea is that movie stars and models and whatever the hell Kardashians are can help remove the stigma around public breastfeeding.

Despite the fact that breastfeeding is as normal as it gets, this movement to remove the shame many women feel in regards to feeding their children is actually necessary. There are whole bunches of people who can’t stomach the sight of a woman breastfeeding in public!

On my Facebook page, I wondered – rhetorically – just who these garbage people are, going around making women feel shame over feeding their kids? Because I guarantee you, most of them have behaved far worse. We all have.

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