When Dad Jokes Get Real

When Dad Jokes Get Real

When you have kids, you don’t become just a mother or a father. You become a teacher, a doctor, a cop, a waiter, a maid, and a referee if you have more than one kid. (Here’s hoping you don’t have a daredevil kid who requires you to be a firefighter also!)

On top of all that, on top of suddenly having to do a bunch of lame stuff like discipline your kids and clean up after your kids, and on top of your office becoming a nursery, your Netflix queue drowning in cartoons, and the car you once loved becoming a breeding ground for Goldfish crumbs and spit-up stains, the real horror hits: Not only have you become a dad, you’ve become your dad!

It’s already happening to me.

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Cereal Filler

Cereal Filler

The Hammer won’t eat anything.

For a while, we thought we had him with pieorogies, and pizza, and pancakes, but he soon abandoned his alliteration-based preferences and embarked on a hunger strike. Cooking food for him quickly became a chore when all he wanted was his bottle of milk.

He loves his snacks, though, and despite the fact that he has occasionally procured a potato chip or two (second kids FTW!), he mostly munches on Cheerios. And thank god, because not only does he actually eat them, they don’t require any prep!

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Dad and Buried’s Father’s Day Gift Guide

Dad and Buried’s Father’s Day Gift Guide

Father’s Day is next weekend, apparently.

That’s right, I don’t pay much attention to the date, because I don’t care too much about Father’s Day! Don’t get me wrong, Mom and Buried is an amazing gift-giver, so it’s always exciting to see what she comes up with, but I’d trade every gift she’s ever given me for never having to get her anything because my gift-giving abilities pale in comparison to hers and the stress is KILLING ME.

It doesn’t have to kill you, though, because I’m going to help! This year, I have some gift ideas for the dad in your life, with the First Annual Dad and Buried Father’s Day Gift Guide!

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The Chore of Common Core

The Chore of Common Core

When I get home from work, I’m pretty spent.

My days are usually filled with meetings and deadlines and fire drills and brainstorming and phone calls — capped off by a long commute on a crowded subway. So, by the time I get home, the last thing I want to do is something mentally taxing. I want a drink, a seat and some television.

But, alas, I have kids, so before I get to do those things, I have to deal with the fruit of my loins first. And that means common core.

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