Wherefore Art Thou, Disney?

Wherefore Art Thou, Disney?

When I was a kid, we visited Disney World.

At some point we ended up on a breakfast cruise, and there are pictures of me there, cherub-faced and smiling wide, surrounded by Mickey and Minnie, Chip and Dale, Cinderella, and assorted other Disney characters. I don’t remember it, but I’ve seen pictures, and I have no doubt it was one of the happiest days of my life. (We visited Disneyland too, but come on. There’s a reason all the pictures from that trip are from Universal Studios.)

I worshiped Disney as a kid. My five-year-old has no idea what Disney is.

Read more about Wherefore Art Thou, Disney?

Mo Kids Mo Problems

Mo Kids Mo Problems

Parenting is stressful.

It’s challenging, it’s tiring, and worst of all, it’s important. I don’t care if you have one kid, two kids, five kids, or are the Duggars. Being a parent is like living inside a pressure cooker. And, it gets hotter every day.

Especially when you turn up the heat by having multiple children. You know what they say: Mo kids mo problems!

Read more about Mo Kids Mo Problems

I Don’t Want Any Father’s Day Gifts

I Don’t Want Any Father’s Day Gifts

Father’s Day is coming up (as if you didn’t know, you sly minx!) and Mom and Buried keeps asking me what I want. I keep telling her that I don’t want any Father’s Day gifts.

Which is true, I don’t want anything. Why not? Well, it’s certainly not because “I have two beautiful kids and an amazing wife and that’s everything I need” because give me a break!

Here are some reasons I don’t want any Father’s Day gifts.

Read more about I Don’t Want Any Father’s Day Gifts

Taking Kids to the Movies Sucks

Taking Kids to the Movies Sucks

I used to go to 100-plus movies a year. Then I became a parent.

Last week, I saw a movie in the theater for the first time in a while. An adult movie. (Well, it was a superhero movie, so “adult” may be a stretch. But it’s not exactly for five-year-olds either. A guy gets shot in the head, point-blank. I think my kid can wait a few years to see that.) It’s a rare occurrence these days.

I’m just not going to spend 100 bucks on a babysitter so I can go sit in a dark room and not talk to my wife. If I’m spending 100 bucks on a babysitter, I’m gonna go sit in a candlelit room and silently stare at my wife while we guzzle overpriced booze. So the only time I see movies is when I take my kid, and that’s not the same.

Because taking kids to the movies sucks.

Read more about Taking Kids to the Movies Sucks