TV Guidance

TV Guidance

Before I became a parent, I had a lot of fantasies about how I was going to influence my kids to like the stuff I like, and to teach them the stuff I wanted them to know.

I forgot how quickly other influences crop up. My kid is not even six and I’m already fighting a war on multiple fronts.

I think TV is winning.

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Control Freak-Out

Control Freak-Out

There are a lot of things I don’t want my kids to become. Bullies, jerks, people who say “All Lives Matter”, Republicans, Jets fans… a lot of things.

Not all of them are within our control, but a few might be. Preventing him from being spoiled, teaching him to be kind and grateful are others. Those are things parents can influence. Right? Maybe? Please?

Help. I think I’m having a control freak-out.

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Terrible Thoughts Only Parents Have

Terrible Thoughts Only Parents Have

Parents aren’t special. Having children doesn’t make you a hero. To paraphrase Furious Styles, any fool can make a baby, it takes a real parent to raise kids.

It also takes a real parent to think horrifying thoughts about their kids. And if that’s the primary criterion by which parenting is measured, I’m pretty sure I’m the world’s greatest dad. Because I’m a horrible person!

For proof, witness this list of terrible thoughts only parents have, and that it’s possible only this parent has, because I’m deranged. But that’s why you love me!

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The Parenting Shrug

The Parenting Shrug

I once wrote a post entitled “The Secret to Happy Parenting“, in which I suggested that you’ll be happier if you stopped caring what other people think of your parenting. (From that post: “I’m not suggesting you stop caring about your kid. I’m saying you need to stop caring about everyone else but your kid.”)

It sounds good. Being able to inoculate yourself against all the haters is definitely a great way to improve your peace of mind. The problem is your kids are still around! And as annoying and stressful as judgmental people can be, no one is as annoying and stressful as your kids themselves.

I was wrong. The secret to happy parenting isn’t to stop caring about everyone and everything else but your kids, the secret is to stop caring about your kids at all.

The secret to happy parenting is “The Parenting Shrug.”

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