Things Parents Wish We Could Get Away With

Things Parents Wish We Could Get Away With

Parenting comes with a lot of rules.

Whether you’re a strict mom or a cool dad (or vice-versa!), when it comes to raising kids, there are a million dos and don’ts. Some of them are universal (do feed them, don’t show them pornography, do brush their teeth, don’t let them drive, etc.) and some of them differ by household (for example, you don’t let your kids watch TV, whereas my 6-year-old woke up with nightmares about last week’s Legion; to each their own!)

But in our weakest moments, and we all have them, every parent wants to ditch the rule book. Every parent wishes there were certain things s/he could get away with, if not for society and laws and potentially scarring/endangering our kids.

What kinds of things? I’m glad you asked!

Read more about Things Parents Wish We Could Get Away With

Sharing the Spotlight

Sharing the Spotlight

If you’re reading this and/or you follow me on social media (and if you don’t, WTF is your problem: here’s my Twitter and my Facebook), you probably know that I take great pleasure in exploiting my children in a desperate reach for fame (ha!) and fortune (*starts crying*).

If you follow me on Instagram (again: if not, what gives, jerk?), you’ve probably noticed that The Hammer has been dominating my timeline.

And I’m starting to feel guilty about overlooking his older brother.

Read more about Sharing the Spotlight

Things Kids Love That Parents Hate

Things Kids Love That Parents Hate

If you’re in the northeast, odds are you had a snow day yesterday. Congratulations, I’m sorry.

I live in Brooklyn, and thanks to Stella, my son had the day off from school, and thanks to the subways being shut down, I was stuck at home with the rest of the snowed-in Buried clan. The kids were excited (let’s just give The Hammer the benefit of the doubt), but the parents? Not so much.

Snow days are one of many things that are great when you’re a kid, but not so great as an adult.

Read more about Things Kids Love That Parents Hate

Bear Necessities

Bear Necessities

When I was a kid, I was all about chocolate.

As I’ve gotten older, not much has changed. My general snacking taste veers closer to the salty side of things (chips and dip will literally be the death of me), but if I’m having dessert? GIVE ME CHOCOLATE OR GIVE ME DEATH. (Seriously. If you bring a pie to my dinner party, don’t even get out of the car. I DON’T DO FRUIT-BASED DESSERT.)

Detective Munch is different. He loves candy! Don’t get me wrong, he loves chips too, like Daddy, but when it comes to dessert, he’s much more apt to choose sugary candy over delicious chocolate. At least, he was…

Read more about Bear Necessities

The Neverending Story

The Neverending Story

“Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in!”

That famous quote is from The Godfather: Part III, and is a reference Michael Corleone finding it impossible to escape the mob life and go legit, but it also easily applies to my life as a parent (except for the number three part, because there ain’t no way I’m having a third!).

When you have kids, you’re always grasping for the light at the end of the tunnel, even while the tunnel keeps stretching further and further into the distance.

Read more about The Neverending Story