Most Annoying Things Parents Say To Other Parents

Most Annoying Things Parents Say To Other Parents

You know how I feel about other parents. (Not you guys; you guys are the best!)

There’s a reason so many people can’t stand parents. We annoy the childfree because we’re self-absorbed, we forget what life is like for people without kids, what life was like before we had kids, we can’t stop talking about our kids, etc., and we annoy our fellow parents by being judgmental busybodies.

We are all guilty of being the annoying parent, one way or another, and I am no exception. I’m a hypocrite too! But there are some things I just can’t stomach.

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Behavioral Expectations

Behavioral Expectations

Sometimes I feel bad for my six-year-old.

Not when he’s throwing a fit or refusing to eat dinner or talking back or throwing a fit or refusing to go to bed or being disrespectful or throwing a fit, but sometimes.

Dude’s had a bit of a rough run lately, what with the arrival of a little brother to not only steal some cuteness thunder but also to wreak havoc on the household without receiving so much as a cross word. Simply because he’s younger.

Toddlers get the benefit of the doubt for their behavior. Six-year-olds don’t.

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Trump’s Locker Room Talk

Trump’s Locker Room Talk

(This post originally ran on Scary Mommy, but as Trump’s habit of making sexist and misogynistic remarks continues to make news, most recently with last week’s comments to the French first lady, I thought I’d re-run it here.)

As a 40-year-old man, I’ve been in my share of locker rooms.

In those rare instances when I’m not minding my own business and/or shielding my eyes from the sight of the old men who inexplicably enjoy hanging around buck naked in the middle of midtown Manhattan gyms, I’ve had plenty of conversations with other men, both friends and strangers.

I’ve never discussed, let alone bragged about, a history and/or any methods of sexual assault. Not in a locker room, not anywhere.

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Addicted To Co-Sleeping

Addicted To Co-Sleeping

The other night, Detective Munch came to our room at about 1:30 AM, woke Mom and Buried and me up, and told us he couldn’t sleep. Actually, what he said was that he’d been “awake since 7” and had been lying in bed with his eyes wide open the entire time.

This was blatantly false on several levels (he didn’t even go to bed until 8!), the latest in a long line of excuses and/or lies he uses to try to get into our bed.

My son is addicted to co-sleeping, so this happens a few times a week. I don’t always handle it well.

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This Is Your Parenting On Drugs

This Is Your Parenting On Drugs

There are a lot of reasons a parent might want to lighten their load with a little help from their friends, whether said friends be alcohol, marijuana, Xanax, or boarding school. You have kids. You get it. Sometimes you need to relieve some stress. Parenting on drugs is tempting, to say the least.

I haven’t sent my kids away (yet), and I’ve never been much of a pill guy (there but for the grace of God and all). So these days I mostly drink. Kids have a tendency to make that necessary. You’re on Facebook. You get it.

There was a time — way back in college — when I might have done a little more than drink. Lately, now that the stigma is gone and the criminality is going away as well, I’m wondering if it might be time to explore a return to Honalee with everyone’s favorite magic dragon.

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