Tag Archives: long eyelashes

The Misshape of Things to Come

15 Aug island-of-dr-moreau-1996-thewlis-balk

As my son’s second birthday approaches, I can’t help but think ahead to what he’ll be like when he’s older. Especially since he is already growing up so fast.

Obviously, I can’t possibly predict my sons future interests based on what he likes as a toddler! I highly doubt he”ll still enjoy “Yo Gabba Gabba,” climbing up and down stairs, and pulling tissues out of boxes as much as he does right now. But I always say “find a job you love and you’ll never work a day in you life,” so go for it, tissue puller!

But really, about the only thing I can predict for him, with nearly 100% accuracy, is that for much of the time between the ages of 12 and 17, he’s going to be hideously ugly.

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What Does Obama’s Announcement Mean For My Son?

10 May tumblr_m3s3cgA1H91rrqe41o1_500

My son is not yet two years old, and as we haven’t had him tested yet, we can’t know if he’s got the gay or not. But we can guess.

He loves to dance. He may have a bit of a lisp. He enjoys wrapping things around his neck and playing with my wife’s makeup kit. He’s really into stuffed animals and has long eyelashes.

The writing is on the wall.

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Sweeney Toddler

28 Mar jules pulp

My son is not going to prom anytime soon. He’s not applying for any jobs, he’s not running for office, he’s not playing for the Yankees.

There is simply no reason for him to get a haircut right now.

So why does everyone want him to?

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