The Return of Mom and Buried

The Return of Mom and Buried

Hello again, Mom and Buried here! Remember me?

It’s been too long. I would have loved to have written sooner, but you know, I’ve been busy BUILDING A HUMAN IN MY UTERUS, luxuriating in the pleasures and joys of pregnancy and childbirth, and raising said human to be the adorable (and not-at-all-exhausting) toddler he is today.

And I think I got another kid too around here somewhere. And also a husband, the infamous Dad and Buried.

So let’s just say three – I’ve been busy raising THREE children. But I digress…

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Honesty Is The Best Policy (For Women)

Honesty Is The Best Policy (For Women)

*HUSBAND SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT*

When your wife asks you how she looks, you must do the following:

1. Look her over

2. Look her over for a reasonable enough amount of time that your answer is credible

3. Don’t look her over for so long as to imply untoward scrutiny or the existence of flaws heretofore unseen and/or altogether nonexistent

4. Tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth

5. But don’t say anything except “You look great!”

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Don’t Put Up, Shut Up

Don’t Put Up, Shut Up

Yesterday was #WomanCrushWednesday, the one day a week when Instagram users are allowed to share a photo of a woman they want to have sex with. (I don’t actually know the official premise of the stupid theme.) I shared a photo of Mom and Buried, been there, done that! YEAH BOYEEEEEEEEE!

I chose a picture in which she looks really pretty, she’s clearly very happy, and is doing something mom-related because I’m nothing if not consistently ON BRAND. I also chose a picture in which her face is partially obscured, because a little anonymity is good and also it’s hilarious to constantly obscure her face. (Did you see the birthday pic I posted?)

She may not think it’s hilarious, but she knows who she married. She’s used to putting up with me.

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Six Reasons I Like Being Married

Six Reasons I Like Being Married

September is a busy month for the Buried clan.

My birthday was last week, my son’s was yesterday, and my anniversary is today. Tomorrow, I file for bankruptcy!

There are two reasons this blog exists: my wife and my son, and they are interchangeable. There wouldn’t be one without the other. It’s like the chicken and the egg. Except obviously my wife had to come first. Otherwise I’d have a lot of explaining to do.

So while yesterday I celebrated my son, today I celebrate my wife. Actually, in November I celebrate my wife; on her birthday. But also today. And on Christmas. And Valentine’s Day. And Mother’s Day. And a few random days throughout the year when she doesn’t expect it because if you don’t do that women start complaining that the romance is gone and where is the passion and you used to try harder before we were married and let me stop this right now because I LOVE being married and here are six reasons (in honor of our sixth anniversary!) why.

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Anger Management

Anger Management

There are certain environments in which it’s not healthy for children to grow up: brothels, crack houses, religious cults, tour buses, Staten Island, etc.But you don’t have to be a pimp or Tommy Lee to create a negative atmosphere for your kids. Sometimes you just have to be in a bad mood.

It’s impossible to be a human being in this day and age and not get pissed off once in a while. But unless you’re the unbalanced coach of a college basketball team or my old college roommate, you probably know how to handle your anger. At least, you think you do, until you have a toddler.

I don’t care how mild-mannered you are, occasionally you’re gonna get mad. Maybe not at your child, but probably in his vicinity, and often about stuff he does.

Then you’ll really find out how good your anger management really is. (Not Charlie Sheen’s “Anger Management,” or even Adam Sandler’s. They’re both terrible.)

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