Tag Archives: parenting
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The Stages of Halloween

29 Oct halloween, circle of fright, parenting, parenthood, trick or treat, funny, humor, dad bloggers, horror, monsters, parenthood, pop culture, candy, holidays, stages of Halloween, batman jack o'lantern

Halloween doesn’t mean the same thing when you’re ten as it does when you’re twenty. Or when you have kids of your own. Priorities change…

Check out this handy chart detailing all the different stages of the spookiest night of the year!

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Seven Terrible Halloween Costumes for Kids

27 Oct frozen, elsa, anna, olaf, costume, halloween, disney, parenting, funny, humor, dads, moms, parenthood, dressing up, worst halloween costumes, nightmares, disney, movies, Frozen

My son was born in the middle of September, so when his first Halloween came around, he was barely even a thing yet, let alone someone who might one day want to dress up as Thing. But that didn’t stop Mom and Buried from putting him in a little lion outfit and parading him around the neighborhood, to the delight of everyone because that shit is cute.

When his second Halloween came around, he went as a monkey. We initially tried a skeleton outfit but that did not go over well. To be honest, neither did the monkey, most of the time. But crying and screaming was kind of his thing back then. (Not that that’s changed much.) Last year was his third Halloween, and he was totally on board, chomping at the bit to be Jake the Neverland Pirate.

Finally, it was up to him to choose his costume. And it should always be from now on.

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Boys Need Protection Too

23 Oct rules for dating my daughter, fatherhood, sons, protection, children, parenting, parenthood, women, misogyny, raising kids, boys will be boys

Last week, I posted something of a response to the hilarious “if you touch my daughter I’ll kill you!” stance that many fathers enjoy taking when their daughters start dating. I wrote the post to make light of the idea that it’s supercool for adults to threaten children with violence.

As I was writing, I found myself worrying about my credibility on the topic, because I don’t have a daughter who might one day be asked to prom by a leering, peach-fuzzed boy with only one thing on his mind and it’s not matchbox cars I’ll tell you that much!

I only have a son. And boys don’t need protection.

Right?

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[E-card] Insane in the Membrane

22 Oct

crazy one ecard1 [E card] Insane in the Membrane

Extreme Parenting

21 Oct extreme parenting, extreme, motherhood, fatherhood, competition, judgment, dads, lifestyle, kids, children, parenthood, parenting

Parenting is a nonstop merry-go-round of comparison, guilt and judgment.

We feel guilty when we screw up. We judge other parents when they screw up. We endlessly compare ourselves to those same parents, unaware – or, more honestly, unwilling to accept – that they are experiencing exactly the same trials and tribulations, riding the same roller-coaster, as we are.

We pit ourselves against the world, against non-parents and other parents and even our spouses, eliminating the curve and grading everything on a scale of zero or 100, using extreme language in the service of unrealistic standards. In so doing, we isolate ourselves from each other.

It’s time we started using our broad assumptions and wild generalizations to be inclusive instead of exclusive. I’ll give it a try.

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From the Mouths of Babes

15 Oct

What Toddlers Say From the Mouths of Babes

Is there anything your munchkin says that ISN’T on this list? Add it in the comments!

Rules for Dating My Son

13 Oct parenting, violence, dads, threats, prom, daughters, rules for dating, funny, humor, kids, romance, teenagers, children

My son is only four, but with the speed at which children grow up these days, it won’t be long before he starts going on dates. So I thought I’d write a little something to anyone who is considering going to the drive-in and the ice cream stand – or maybe the roller rink and soda shop? I’m out of touch – with my son.

(If you have a daughter, try these or these, from much nicer people than me.)

He’s a friendly, good-looking kid, so I don’t blame you for being interested. Just be careful.

If you want to date my son, it’s your funeral.

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Health Scare

9 Oct parenting, health, health insurance, healthy dad, #healthydad, anxiety, stress, fatherhood, kids, family, life, lifestyle, mortality, contest

Do you like being scared? It’s October, so there’s no better time, right?

Well, forget vampires and mummies and werewolves and celebrities without makeup, I have a foolproof way to give yourself the willies:

Have kids.

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Cry School

7 Oct separation anxiety, parenting, parenthood, toddlers, school, pre-k, motherhood, fatherhood, funny, stress, family, home, education, homeschool

With apologies to Tom Petty, the waiting ain’t so bad. It’s the separating that’s the hardest part. Especially when it comes to dropping my kid off at school.

He’s only four years old, so I’m not talking about sending him off to college, or even to the military academy he’ll definitely be attending if he doesn’t shape up! I’m talking about sending him to pre-kindergaten. Where he eats paste for six hours.

If he can’t figure out how to handle that, I’m going to start eating paste. After my nervous breakdown.

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No LEGO to Stand On

3 Oct parenting, toys, LEGO, superheroes, toddlers, birthdays, funny, dads, moms, motherhood, fatherhood, dad bloggers, humor

People love them some LEGOs. I recognize this. I’m not here to bury them (those people or the LEGOs). But I’m not here to praise them either (those people or the LEGOs). I’m just ambivalent about the toy.

I didn’t really want to write about the colorful little blocks.

And then someone gave my son a bunch of them.

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