“Not All Men” Is Meaningless and Counterproductive

“Not All Men” Is Meaningless and Counterproductive

One night in college, a friend summoned me to her room.

I’d been interested in her for some time – I wanted to be “more than friends” – but up to that point, things had remained chaste. It was late, we’d both been out separately, doing whatever it is we’d been doing, and when I got to her room, she was clearly drunk.

Twenty years later, I still remember how I felt that night.

This is why “NotAllMen” doesn’t matter…

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Scarier Movies

Scarier Movies

In a lot of ways, kids make Halloween more fun. But, like everything else, they also make it much, much worse.

For example, last night, as part of our month of scary movies, instead of watching something legit like Let The Right One In (the original FTW!) or The Conjuring, we watched Hocus Pocus. (Which was much scarier, for totally unintentional reasons.)

Because parenting.

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Is it Wrong To Call Your Kids ‘Buddy’?

Is it Wrong To Call Your Kids ‘Buddy’?

I call my kids all sorts of things.

For starters, they have the generic names everyone calls their kids: little guy, munchkin, monkey, etc. Mom and Buried uses various terms of affection, like pumpkin and cutie-pie and goofer. I often use weird names like “munch machine” and “cracker town” that I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain (I also don’t have an actual explanation).

Then there are their blog nicknames (which I rarely use anywhere but online), along with various terms of aggravation (which I never use to their faces), like jerk, and dick, and asshole.

People occasionally get angry at me for using those words, which is understandable. Getting angry about people who call their kid “buddy” is decidedly less so…

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The Parenting Perks of New York City

The Parenting Perks of New York City

This morning, my wife texted me in a panic because she couldn’t find her membership card to the Staten Island Children’s Museum she wanted to visit with our kids.

Later, she texted me a photo of my 7-month-old at a museum, putting some filth-ridden toy in his mouth, the goofy idiot. I texted back, both to insult my son for being a goofy idiot and to ask at which museum she’d ended up, because I knew she’d never found her membership card.

I also knew that didn’t matter. Because we live in New York City.

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Paranormal Parenting Activity

Paranormal Parenting Activity

Being a parent is scary, mostly because children are terrifying, and not just in that nightmarish “standing silently next to your bed in the middle of the night” kind of way…

All sorts of crazy, unpredictable, and unbelievable things happen when you have kids in your life. (You know what they say: Parenting is like a box of chocolates, NOT ALL OF THAT IS CHOCOLATE OMG DON’T EAT IT!)

Not all of it makes sense.

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