Shut Up, Parents

Shut Up, Parents

I love to complain. Especially about my kids.

Parenting is a never-ending hellscape of stress and headaches, and as such it offers plenty of fodder for whining. God knows I do a lot of it.

That said, even I am sick of some of the typical rants. It’s time for parents to shut up about some of this stuff.

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Parenting Travel Hack

Parenting Travel Hack

In late February, during my son’s winter break, we decided to head to Philly for the weekend. It was a great call.

Not only is Philadelphia an easy drive from Brooklyn, not only had it been way too long since I’d had DiNic’s ridiculous roast pork and broccoli rabe sandwich, not only had we long wanted to take the kids to the hyped (deservedly, it turns out!) Please Touch Children’s Museum, but the city of Brotherly Love was also the site of my first date with Mom and Buried!

Needless to say, this visit wasn’t exactly the same as the one that had launched our relationship some 13+ years ago. Nothing is the same once you have kids.

Especially traveling.

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Boneheaded Parenting Mistakes

Boneheaded Parenting Mistakes

Everyone has grand plans for how they’ll parent. They’re going to do everything right, and be the perfect mom or dad, and raise the world’s best kid. Becoming a parent forces you to make sacrifices.

And then you have kids. And suddenly you’re in the shit. And when you’re in the shit, things change.

Instead of doing everything right, you start doing plenty of things wrong, making boneheaded parenting mistakes that are probably bad for them, and are definitely bad for you.

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Parenting One-Upmanship

Parenting One-Upmanship

Parents are a competitive bunch.

Despite the fact that every single one of us is just taking shots in the dark and flying by the seat of our pants, we’re still constantly trying to one-up each other when it comes to both our parenting styles and our kids’ accomplishments. Instead of uniting against our children, the authors of our pain, procreation tends to make parents close ranks and face off against one another.

In multiple ways.

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Second Kid Slacking

Second Kid Slacking

Last week, The Hammer turned two!

The last two years have moved pretty quickly, but a lot of that is probably because I’ve spent most of that time sleepwalking half-awake through my life. The baby phase is over and the toddler phase is in full-swing, so if the terrible twos actually arrive on time (Detective Munch didn’t get terrible until he became a threenager), I’m about to be awoken very abruptly.

In order to save my sanity, I’ve started indulging in some second kid slacking.

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