Boneheaded Parenting Mistakes

Boneheaded Parenting Mistakes

Everyone has grand plans for how they’ll parent. They’re going to do everything right, and be the perfect mom or dad, and raise the world’s best kid. Becoming a parent forces you to make sacrifices.

And then you have kids. And suddenly you’re in the shit. And when you’re in the shit, things change.

Instead of doing everything right, you start doing plenty of things wrong, making boneheaded parenting mistakes that are probably bad for them, and are definitely bad for you.

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Parenting One-Upmanship

Parenting One-Upmanship

Parents are a competitive bunch.

Despite the fact that every single one of us is just taking shots in the dark and flying by the seat of our pants, we’re still constantly trying to one-up each other when it comes to both our parenting styles and our kids’ accomplishments. Instead of uniting against our children, the authors of our pain, procreation tends to make parents close ranks and face off against one another.

In multiple ways.

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Second Kid Slacking

Second Kid Slacking

Last week, The Hammer turned two!

The last two years have moved pretty quickly, but a lot of that is probably because I’ve spent most of that time sleepwalking half-awake through my life. The baby phase is over and the toddler phase is in full-swing, so if the terrible twos actually arrive on time (Detective Munch didn’t get terrible until he became a threenager), I’m about to be awoken very abruptly.

In order to save my sanity, I’ve started indulging in some second kid slacking.

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What Your Kids Don’t Know May Kill You

What Your Kids Don’t Know May Kill You

Kids are dumb. Everyone knows that!

It’s not their fault, at least not at first. Everyone is born a blank slate. Kids don’t know anything. It’s our job as parents to clue them in to all of it. Even the obvious stuff.

This isn’t news. Not a single one of us has ever met a baby who could hold a conversation worth a damn.

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Addicted To Co-Sleeping

Addicted To Co-Sleeping

The other night, Detective Munch came to our room at about 1:30 AM, woke Mom and Buried and me up, and told us he couldn’t sleep. Actually, what he said was that he’d been “awake since 7” and had been lying in bed with his eyes wide open the entire time.

This was blatantly false on several levels (he didn’t even go to bed until 8!), the latest in a long line of excuses and/or lies he uses to try to get into our bed.

My son is addicted to co-sleeping, so this happens a few times a week. I don’t always handle it well.

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