I’ve been writing a lot of lists lately.
As a result, my friend at AskYourDadBlog – a far nicer, far more successful, far more irritating outfit – thought he’d be clever and insult my recent rash of list-making by suggesting a new one, called “10 Ways Having Kids is Like Writing a List About Things That Are Like Having Kids.”
Joke’s on him though, because I DID it. And it’s glorious. And it fills me with (more) self-loathing.
10 Ways Having Kids is Like Writing a List About Things That Are Like Having Kids
- Making them is a real pain in the ass
- Everyone gets angry at you if you name them something stupid
- Create more than three and everyone thinks you’re crazy
- Create only one and everyone wonders why you don’t make more
- You hope everyone likes how it turns out but mostly you don’t care because you’re just happy to have gotten through it
- Sometimes it’s a struggle to remember why you even bothered to begin with
- Someone’s always telling you what you did wrong
- Swear too much and people ask you to tone it down
- Using bullets is frowned upon
- Sometimes you don’t even like doing it but you power through in the hopes that it gets you on The Huffington Post
That actually turned out pretty well. I’m kind of inspired to make more! Thanks, John!
Please send all suggestions for future lists along, because we all know they are easy and fast and have a tendency to go viral. Why do you think there are so many?
(Go visit John’s blog, where he writes a bunch of touchy-feely stuff that everyone loves because he’s like a cuddly little bunny rabbit and everyone loves bunny rabbits. EXCEPT ME.)
This is the most glorious list in the history of lists. I could write a list about the 7 reasons I love this list. I won’t, but I could. Keep up the good work Mike! You know I love your lists – with all of my heart.
Before this post creates a black hole of listy word play, I wanted to say I LOVE IT.
The problem with LOLing is that it gives legitimacy to the short and stupid “LOL” itself. But I just did that.
Well, I wrote an open letters to open letter. It was a stretch. 🙂 Love your list though!!
You are a masterful kind of dick.
In my scrapbook of comments, this one will hold a place of honor.
You’re right, it IS glorious. And informative! **note to self: *don’t* use bullets**
I really enjoyed reading this. I guess that another reason that kids can be like lists is that maybe they can sometimes be hard to find when you’re actually at the supermarket. I can remember writing lists but not being able to find them once I got to the supermarket, and as a kid sometimes liked to go off exploring when we were at the supermarket.
That is a GREAT point. I can never find my lists and always end up taking home the wrong stuff. Thankfully I’ve yet to take home the wrong kid. Thanks for reading!
I’m a serial list maker and a serial list not follower. It’s a curse. Great list!