16 Nov

Dad and Buried Posted in discipline 11 comments

Parenting is Not About You

Last week, I was lucky enough to score passes to a sneak preview of a Star Wars event at the LEGOLAND Discovery Center in Westchester.

On Friday afternoon, we picked Detective Munch up from school, braved the rush hour traffic, and trekked up to Yonkers. For a few hours, he frolicked in the (atypically uncrowded) indoor playground thing, built and raced LEGO vehicles down ramps, watched a 3D LEGO movie, and generally had a great time, all while surrounded by a bunch of cool Star Wars stuff. There was even a guy walking around in a Chewbacca costume (Detective Munch was perfectly happy observing him from a safe distance).

Then, at the end of a fun night when we made extra effort to do something special we knew our son would love, something he did love, he threw a huge fit, collapsed on the floor, and screamed “I HATE YOU!” in my face.

So… You’re welcome?

12 Nov

Dad and Buried Posted in discipline 2 comments

My Wife is Better Than Me

When it comes to parenting, I don’t buy into gender stereotypes or biological imperatives or how they feel on “Mad Men”.

It’s 2015! Parenting tasks are no longer divided solely by gender, at least not in my house. It’s a team effort, a total 50/50 proposition, and moms and dads both have to go all-in to make it work.

That said, there are definitely some things my wife does better than me, and most of them aren’t gender-specific. (Unless you count being sick. Women totally dominate there.)

She had her birthday last week, so I thought I’d share a few of them. Better late than never!

21 Oct

Dad and Buried Posted in Charts and Graphs No comments

Disciplinary Actions

It’s not easy to discipline your kids. To get the job done, I think we all try a little bit of everything.

There are countless recommendations out there, infinite cure-alls guaranteed to produce the perfect child IN DAYS! They range from time-outs to reward charts to taking away toys to whining back at them so they can see how ridiculous it feels. But none of them work.

When I discipline my kid, the progression is not so much 1-2-3-MAGIC as it is 9-1-1-HELP!

Read more about Disciplinary Actions …

12 Oct

Dad and Buried Posted in discipline One comment

The No-Can-Do Kid

Usually when I watch my son stumble around, I’m amazed at how little he can do. I mean, yeah, he’s only five-years-old, but it’s incredible to see all the basic, rudimentary human activities that he is unable to complete, or even truly comprehend.

I love my son, and lately his behavior has (slightly) improved and he’s being (slightly) less of an asshole so I’m (slightly) more inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt. After all, in many cases, it’s not his no-can-do attitude so much as his no-can-do age.

With that in mind, I’ve tried to change my perspective and look at his deficiencies – like the inability to do two things at once, or to not get food in his hair, or to take a shower – as adorable and charming.

Empty Parenting Threats

When it comes to getting your kids to do something they don’t want to do, there are basically three tactics you can employ: bribery, threats, and just giving up and doing it for them.

Doing it for them is obviously not the way to go. Detective Munch is lazy enough as it is; if I were to start waiting on him hand and foot (or waiting on him even more, which I guess would make it waiting on him hands and feet? COMEDY GOLD!), he’d probably end up with bed sores.

As most parents already know, bribery is a double-edged sword. It works, but you’re gonna pay for it down the line when the kid refuses to get out of bed without the promise of a new toy or some TV time, and eventually you’re buying him a new car just to get him to go to college.

Which leaves us with threats.

Dad and Buried

Category: discipline

Parenting is Not About You

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My Wife is Better Than Me

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Disciplinary Actions

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The No-Can-Do Kid

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Empty Parenting Threats

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